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“Trojan Pantomime Horse” Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood

July 4, 2023 by Lawrence Wood

CartoonStock caption contest image by Joe Dator. Two centurion's are confronted by a pantomime style Trojan horse

Joe Dator’s cartoon alludes to a story from the Aeneid. The Trojan War had been dragging on for ten years, so the Greek king Odysseus suggested building a huge wooden horse large enough to hold a select force of soldiers, including Odysseus himself. The Greeks left the horse outside the walled city of Troy and pretended to sail away. The Trojans pulled the horse inside the city, and later that night the Greek soldiers crept out of the horse and opened the gates of the city for the rest of the Greek army, which had sailed back under cover of darkness.  

In Dator’s drawing, two soldiers standing outside the walled city (are they Greeks or Trojans?) are looking up at two giants in a pantomime horse costume, and one of the soldiers is speaking. Dator’s original caption, which suggests the soldiers are Greek, was, “If you guys don’t work out, we’ll try putting the whole army in there.” “It’s nothing clever,” Joe told us. “Just a verbal button on the visual gag to emphasize the absurdity, as is often my preference.” Joe’s too modest. I think that’s a very clever caption.

Some of this month’s best entries suggested that the two giants in the horse costume were part of an initial and deeply flawed attempt to gain entry to the walled city by using a giant horse:

  • “This is the last time I take the low bid.”
  • “Frankly, we expected more of you.”
  • “I don’t like the odds.”
  • “Odysseus’s plan was better.”

I love that last caption, especially because it credits the right person with the idea for the successful military strategy, but Odysseus is not a name that trips off the tongue, and it interrupts the flow of the caption. 

The following entry suggests that the soldiers don’t think much of the giants’ plan but are nevertheless trying to let them down easy: “You’ll be Plan B.”

The next two entries suggest that building and transporting a huge wooden horse, as Odysseus proposed, would have been too challenging or expensive:

  • “It turns out, shipping a wooden horse is a logistical nightmare.”
  • “Damn budget cuts.”

The next two captions suggest that there never was a wooden horse, and that (as Dator’s drawing implies) the Greeks used a giant cloth horse costume to win the war:

  • “Excuse me, can my friends and I borrow your costume?”
  • “I hope history remembers this differently.”

That last entry deserves extra points for suggesting that the Greek soldiers were embarrassed by their strategy, even if it ultimately proved successful. 

This entry suggests that there’s no need for subterfuge when you have giants on your side: “Just go knock the gate down and grab the king.”

This month’s best pun is also the best sex joke: “Troy isn’t going to fall for a pair of big boobs.”

Here’s the second best pun: “You both made a huge ass of yourselves.”

And here’s the best vulgar entry: “I don’t want to know where your army is hiding.”

As noted above, the drawing has an ambiguous element. Are the soldiers Greek and working on a plan to storm the walled city, or are they Trojans who are defending the city? Most of you assumed they’re Greek, but here are a few entries suggesting they’re Trojans;

  • “You may enter, as long as there’s not a company of little soldiers in your pants.”
  • “I’m afraid Helen isn’t available at the moment, but you’re welcome to leave a message.”
  • “You had us fooled until you did the song and dance number.”
  • “Well, as long as you’re not really a giant horse…”

Th following entry highlights the discrepancy between the comic absurdity of the pantomime horse costume and the death and destruction of the Trojan War: “It’s really more tragedy than comedy.”

Finally, we have a caption that suggests the giants are performers who are struggling to get into character and, in the process, trying the Greek soldiers’ patience: “Your pay. That’s your motivation.”

Congratulations to EDO STEINBERG, who submitted this month’s winning entry: “I hope history remembers this differently.” That was also the top-rated entry in crowdsourcing, a fact we discovered only after making our selections. 

Here are the five runners-up:

  • “Excuse me, can my friends and I borrow your costume?”
  • “Just go knock the gate down and grab the king.”
  • “This is the last time I take the low bid.”
  • “Frankly, we expected more of you.”
  • “You’ll be Plan B.”

Watch the Judging Process

For those of you who want to see how we made our selections, we recorded the process and will post it below

Like what you see? Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more Caption Contest episodes.

Related posts:

"Sheep Herding" Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood

“Office Ventriloquists” Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood

“Bald Superhero” Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood

“Cyborg Check Up” Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood

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