In Dave Borchart’s cartoon, two women are having tea in a living room. It’s a contemporary scene, but the woman with her back to a large picture window is dressed in medieval clothing. Staring through the window is a huge ogre, and it looks a lot like a Gahan Wilson creation (which may be Borchart’s tribute to the legendary and recently deceased cartoonist). It’s hard to tell who’s talking, but I’m assuming it’s the woman with her back to the ogre.
Because ogres are known for eating children, I came up with these two captions (and nothing else):
- “We both want children, but for different reasons.”
- “He loves children but, no, he’s not very good with them.”
Now let’s see how you did.
I wasn’t the only one who thought the ogre looked like a Gahan Wilson creation. Here is just a small sample of the Wilson-related entries:
- “This place used to belong to Gahan Wilson.”
- “Gahan Wilson used to live here.”
- “Gahan Wilson once lived here.”
- “It’s an early Gahan Wilson.”
Several of you highlighted the painting of sailboats and compared it unfavorably to the monster:
- “No offense, Sue, but that seascape is hideous.”
- “That seascape really creeps me out.”
Others alluded to putting something unpleasant behind one’s self:
- “I’ve put the demons of the past behind me.”
- “I’ve put my demons behind me.”
- “Thank God that beast is behind me.”
Many entries focused on the tea, but these were the best such captions:
- “I added a little extra something to your tea.”
- “The tea isn’t relaxing me.”
The next three captions acknowledge that the woman who’s speaking is sitting with her back to the monster, but they don’t imply that the problems posed by this monster are in the past:
- “That’s why I sit over here.”
- “I have a troubled background.”
- “She’s right behind me, isn’t she?”
In this next set of entries, the woman who’s speaking is trying to assure the woman who’s looking right at the monster:
- “We could swap places if you like.”
- “Let’s switch seats.”
- “Just ignore him.”
- “Ignore him.”
The best pun of the week—“Janet, I think we’re being trolled again”—would be better without the last word, which detracts from the punchline.
The monster is pressed up against a floor-to-ceiling window, so I like this reference to the adage about people who live in glass houses: “And I can throw as many stones as I like.”
Here are several strong entries that presume the monster is a pet:
- “We just got him from the kill shelter.”
- “Thanks for remembering about my allergy.”
- “He used to be an indoor monster.”
- “Turned out he wasn’t a miniature.”
In the next four captions, the woman who’s speaking is or was in a relationship with the ogre:
- “Tell me again how much you want grandchildren.”
- “It was a fairytale romance.”
- “Relax, mom. He’s a demon, not a musician.”
- “I think he’s found peace since we divorced.”
I love captions that highlight the obliviousness of the character who’s speaking, and this is a fine example: “It’s the headband, isn’t it? You think it looks ridiculous.”
This dark joke reminded me of something by Charles Addams: “I just told him it was a nightmare and to go back to sleep.”
And finally, “The previous owners were in a rush to sell.”
I like many of these captions—especially, “We got him from the kill shelter”—but most of them fail to address the medieval clothing worn by the woman’s who’s speaking, and I don’t think that can be ignored. That’s why my choice for the best of the week goes to, “It was a fairytale romance.”