BIG NEWS: Bob Mankoff is now a grandfather! Last Thursday his daughter gave birth to what Bob described as an “eight-pound eight-ounce bundle of boy” named Whittier David Dunn, whom everyone is calling Whit. Congratulations to Bob and his entire expanding family.
Now on to our contest, which featured a captionless drawing by New Yorker cartoonist Felipe Galindo (aka Feggo), who helped judge the nearly 500 entries. If you read my book on the caption contest, you already know that Feggo is one of four New Yorker cartoonists with whom I have collaborated. Our most recent collaboration, from the February 4, 2024 issue of The New Yorker, is not in my book but does appear below. You can buy a print from CartoonStock:
Feggo’s drawing for the CartoonStock contest is set in a church, where Rene Magritte’s Son of Man, his face obscured by a large green apple, is marrying Carmen Miranda, who has a basket of fruit on her head. A priest is officiating and speaking.
Feggo’s original caption was “Till juicing do you part,” and one of you submitted something similar: “Till expiration date do you part.”
This pun is clever—“And to think it all started as a one-night fruit stand”—but it doesn’t really work because there’s no such thing as a one-night fruit stand.
I like this pun much better: “I didn’t realize this was an edible arrangement.”
But I hate this pun: “Cantaloupe?” It would be clearer, but still awful, if it were “Can’t elope?”
Here’s a clever allusion to Genesis 1:28: “And multiply.” A second biblical reference puts a nice twist on Mark 19:6: “What God has joined together, let no man put in a blender.” And here’s another joke about the same kitchen appliance: “Oh dear. I’m told every wedding gift is a blender.”
I like these two allusions to the title of the Magritte painting that Feggo used for his cartoon:
- “And will you laugh at his Wife-of-Man jokes?”
- “I now pronounce you Son of Man and wife.”
That second caption is almost too perfect, and I initially assumed that it must have been Feggo’s original caption. I was wrong, and the fact that it seems obvious only confirms that it’s a terrific entry.
While The Son of Man is certainly one of Magritte’s most famous paintings, this next caption alludes to what may be his most widely-recognized work, Ceci n’est pas une pipe (This is not a pipe): “Ceci n’est pas une marriage.”
The next three captions all begin with the first three words of a standard question at marriage ceremonies:
- “Do you promise to keep him in a cool, dry place, out of direct sunlight?”
- “Do you promise to love, honor, and refrigerate?”
- “Do you promise to love whoever it is?”
Those first two captions did well in crowdsourcing, but I like the last entry best (even though “whoever” should be “whomever”).
Like that last entry, the next four captions note that the groom’s face is completely hidden by the apple:
- “I’ll take the muffled crunch as an ‘I do.’”
- “Nobody looks at the groom anyway.”
- “You may attempt to kiss the bride.”
- “Just nod.”
Here are four clever variations on what a priest says to conclude a marriage ceremony:
- “You may now apply the little stickers.”
- “You may now remove the stickers.”
- “You may gently squeeze the bride.”
- “You may now bob his face.”
The first two of those entries refer to the labels that contain PLU (Price Look Up) codes, while this caption refers to a different kind of label: “Instead of rings the couple will be exchanging ‘Best if used by…’ stickers.”
I love fruit, but these next two captions suggest that many people hate it:
- “We are gathered here today to join this couple into a side dish no one actually likes.”
- “I now pronounce you least popular items in a school lunch.”
Feggo enjoyed the following entry because he’s actually been stopped by airport security while trying to board a plane with fruit in his suitcase: “Good luck on the honeymoon—and getting through customs.”
This caption highlights Magritte’s position as an influential figure in the Surrealist movement: “Marriage is like a work of art that makes no sense whatsoever.”
This next caption surprised and delighted all of us, in part because it focused on the exact number of fruits in Carmen Miranda’s basket: “A bold choice, I must say, to approach the altar in a hat depicting all five of your exes.” While this entry noted that none of the fruits in her basket was an apple: “You complete her.”
This entry does not address Magritte’s Son of Man, but the image it created made me laugh: “Let us bow our heads—Christ, there goes the pineapple.” I also love the somewhat sacrilegious thought of a priest using the Lord’s name as an interjection.
Finally, we have a caption that acknowledges The Son of Man is a great work of art: “Immediately following this ceremony, please join the happy couple for a reception at MOMA.”
Congratulations to KAREN KONNO, who submitted the winning caption: “Marriage is like a work of art that makes no sense whatsoever.”
The five runners-up are:
- “A bold choice, I must say, to approach the altar in a hat depicting all five of your exes.”
HOLLY PORTER
- “I now pronounce you Son of Man and wife.”
JOHN KONNO (who I assume is married to this week’s winner)
- “You may now apply the little stickers.”
KATHY WROBEL
- “Nobody looks at the groom anyway.”
KARI WOODWARD
- “You may now bob his face.”
BRANDON LAWNICZAK
If you want to see how we made our selections, we recorded the process and posted it below and on our YouTube channel.
Like what you see? Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more Caption Contest episodes.
Just a reminder, the rules have changed a bit. The winner will get half the money we collect from entrants (which could be far more or far less than $500, depending on the level of participation), and the five runners-up will split the balance. Furthermore, there is no longer a limit to the number of entries you may submit, but after the first three you submit for an entrance fee of $5.00, each additional entry costs $3.00.
The prize money increases with each participant, so encourage your friends to play.
And if you haven’t yet ordered my book on the caption contest even though it’s been out for almost two years, click on the following link: