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“Freshly Baked Commandments” Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood

April 8, 2020 by Lawrence Wood

Danny Shanahan Caption ContestJust in time for Passover, Danny Shanahan has delivered an Exodus-themed cartoon.

Moses is standing atop Mount Sinai, where he’s receiving the Ten Commandments from God, who’s presenting the Decalogue on a peel, the shovel-like tool that’s used to slide pizzas into and out of ovens. The Commandments are piping hot. Moses’s mouth is closed, so it appears that God—represented by a cloud—is speaking.

I first thought of a few captions that combined references to both (1) Moses’s role as the one who delivered God’s word, and (2) the way people get their pizzas:

  1. “This is to go forth.”
  2. “You the delivery guy?”
  3. “I need these delivered.”

I then made a Passover reference: “They’re unleavened.”

My favorite scene from any Mel Brooks movie is from “History of the World, Part I” Mel plays Moses, who comes down from Mount Sinai holding three tablets. He says, “Hear me! O hear me! All pay heed! The Lord, the Lord Jehovah, has given unto you these fifteen…” He then drops one of the tablets, which shatters on the ground. He looks down at the shattered pieces, mutters, “oy,” and then raises his head and says, “Ten! Ten Commandments for you to obey.”  That scene inspired this next caption: “They’re hot. Don’t drop them like you did the first ten.”

Here are a couple more captions that focus on the fact that the Commandments appear to have just come out of the oven:

  1. “Thou shalt let them cool for ten minutes.”
  2. “They’re hot, fresh and mandatory.”

Finally, I imagined God getting a little defensive: “They are most certainly not half-baked.”

Now let’s see how you did.

There were a lot of pizza-themed captions. Some, like mine, played on the meaning of the word “deliver:”

  1. “Do you deliver?”
  2. “Deliver this!”

I’d like that second caption better without the exclamation point. Understated is almost always funnier.

This entry acknowledges the fact that many people prefer certain Commandments over others, just as people prefer certain pizza toppings: “Just remove the ones you don’t like.”

I like the way this caption plays on one word’s double-meaning: “Your orders are ready.”

And here’s a terrific two-word caption that refers to both a type of pizza and God: “One Supreme.”

I suspect these entries were submitted by people who, like me, adore Mel Brooks: 

  1. “There were fifteen but I ate the other five.”
  2. “Try not to drop these, alright?”
  3. “They’re hot, so try not to drop them.”

Like the last two entries, this next caption notes that the Commandments are very hot, while also alluding to another part of Exodus: “Keep this away from any bushes until it cools.”

Here’s the best pun of the week: “Meet your Baker.”

In these captions God’s a little arrogant:

  1. “Of course it’s well done.”
  2. “As usual, perfectly done.”

But here He’s more self-deprecating: “A few are half-baked.”

Finally, these entries acknowledge that some people struggle with the Commandments:

  1. “The guilt is baked in.”
  2. “Easier to swallow.”

This week’s winner is the beautifully concise, “One Supreme.”

Related posts:

"Demonic Playdate" Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood

“Death Ray” Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood

“By the Fire” Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood

"Desert Crawler" Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood

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