A few weeks ago, we featured a Lars Kenseth cartoon that was set in an office building, where a wizard carrying a banker’s box (implying that he had just been fired or laid-off) was addressing his colleague. It therefore had two strikingly disparate frames of reference—downsizing at the workplace, and the wizard’s magical powers—and the winning caption (“I’m a victim of outsorcery”) cleverly addressed both.
This week’s contest features another drawing by Kenseth, but it poses a more daunting challenge because it’s not that strange. Two sheepherders are driving a flock of sheep from one destination to another as if they’re cattle. That’s odd, but not as bizarre as, say, Godzilla crashing a wedding, to cite just one recent example from this contest. The truly bizarre cartoons—the ones that require you to reconcile truly disparate frames of reference—provide a structure, a set of very narrow and strict parameters, and working within these parameters is easier than working without them. That’s my excuse for coming up with only three captions for Kenseth’s drawing:
- “Stop counting them.”
- “A dog could do this job.”
- “Easier than cats.”
This is where I would typically dive into your entries, but this week we’re starting a new feature: revealing the cartoonist’s initial caption idea(s). Kenseth had two:
- “Normally I herd cattle. This is just my side rustle.”
- “So, how come they sent you down to the minors?”
Now let’s see how you did:
Unsurprisingly, there were a lot of entries about the soporific effect of counting sheep. Here are the top eighteen, from longest to shortest:
- “We’d be there already if we didn’t keep falling asleep.”
- “The toughest part of this job is staying awake.”
- “See if you can make it past twenty his time.”
- “Do you know of another cure for insomnia?”
- “You count for a while, I’m getting sleepy.”
- “What do you do when you can’t sleep?”
- “Just don’t start counting ‘em, kid.”
- “I have no problem falling asleep.”
- “Are you still awake back there?”
- “I lost count. And I feel tired.”
- “Try not to fall asleep again.”
- “Do not try to count them.”
- “Don’t ever count them.”
- “Then don’t count them.”
- “So…sleepy…”
- “I feel sleepy.”
- “Sleepy yet?”
- “Wake up.”
Some of you explained why men are doing a job that’s often left to border collies:
- “You had to feed the dogs chocolate.”
- “We had to let the collie go.”
- “It’s the dog’s day off.”
As I did, several of you referred to a common expression for a futile attempt to control something that’s inherently uncontrollable, but the best such entry was, “It could be worse. They could be cats.”
I’m ambivalent about self-referential humor. It can be smart and hilarious—e.g., “It’s Garry Shandling’s Show”—or lazy and ineffective. This week there were several strong entries that alluded to the fact that Lars Kenseth’s human characters don’t have necks:
- “Are you still there? I can’t turn my head without a neck.”
- “Don’t know about you, but I envy their necks.”
- “See. I told you Lars Kenseth could draw necks.”
One of you assumed a sheepherder (who, like the characters in Kenseth’s drawing, rides a horse and drives flocks of sheep from one destination to another) would take offense at being confused with someone who merely tends a flock: “Someone called me a shepherd once. Once.”
The next entry also assumes the sheepherder is a little insecure and defensive about his work: “I tell my girlfriend I’m herding cattle.”
Here’s the best political entry: “Another Trump rally.”
And here’s the best bestiality joke: “I’ve seen you with the sheep. You ride in front.”
These entries assume the sheepherders are planning on using the animals for more than wool:
- “Do we have enough mint jelly?”
- “I like mine skewered.”
- “I could go for a gyro.”
Two of you assumed the sheepherders were not actually in control of the flock:
- “Are we just going to go along with them?”
- “Where are they taking us?”
One of you made the sheepherder an annoying travel companion: “I spy something white.”
And, finally, one of you highlighted a potential benefit of herding sheep instead of cattle: “I just love when they brush up against you.”
I like all these entries, but the one I like best is, “I lost count. And I feel tired.”
ENTER THIS WEEK’S CAPTION CONTEST
Lawrence Wood has won The New Yorker’s Cartoon Caption Contest a record-setting seven times and been a finalist two other times. He has collaborated with New Yorker cartoonists Peter Kuper, Lila Ash, Felipe Galindo Gomez, and Harry Bliss (until Bliss tossed him aside, as anyone would, to collaborate with Steve Martin). Nine of his collaborations have appeared in The New Yorker, and one is included in the New Yorker Encyclopedia of Cartoons.