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“Climbing Wall Bed” Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood

November 21, 2022 by Lawrence Wood

Jeremy Nguyen’s cartoon is set in what appears to be a dorm room where the bed is set high off the ground on top of a climbing wall. Two young men are in the room looking at the bed, and the man wearing the sweatshirt is speaking. Jeremy’s original caption was, “Most of my dates are turned off having to climb a lofted bed.”

Like Jeremy, a couple of you suggested that the bed poses an obstacle to dating. 

  • “It helps with my vow of celibacy.”
  • “I don’t date.”

One of you, however, suggested that it can actually promote a healthy sex life:  “Women can’t resist a challenge.”

Like that last caption, the following entries all take an ordinary statement and give it a new and fitting meaning within the context of the drawing:

  • “It is a challenge to get a good night’s rest.”
  • “Don’t expect breakfast in bed.” 
  • “I like to climb into bed.”
  • “It’s tough getting up.”

This entry suggests that the bed is part of a “reverse-psychology” strategy to get women into bed: “This is where I play hard-to-get.” 

Here’s a sex joke that doubles as one of this month’s two best puns: “My wife has difficulty summiting.” The other is, “I’m between a rock and a soft place.” 

A couple of you noted that climbing into this bed would not be worth the trouble:

  • “I usually just end up sleeping on the floor.”
  • “Mostly I sleep at my desk.”

The following three entries cleverly combine references to sleeping and the fact that rock-climbing is a strenuous physical activity:

  • “The doctor doesn’t seem too concerned about my night sweats.”
  • “Actually, I prefer a warm cup of Gatorade.”
  • “I sleep better after a workout.”
  • “I do extreme sleep.”

There were a lot of jokes about men who have to get up in the middle of the night to pee, and while Bob and I are old enough to be offended by such jokes, we have to admit that these were not bad:

  • “It is part of my fitness and bladder training program.”
  • “There’s also a zip line to the bathroom.”
  • “I can usually hold it all night.”

At CartoonStock we appreciate a good sick joke, so we were delighted to see, “Since losing both hands in the climbing accident, it’s hard to get to sleep.” We especially liked that caption’s focus on a seemingly insignificant detail: the fact that we can’t see the hands of the man who’s speaking. Though we all assumed his hands were in the kangaroo pocket of his sweatshirt—I’m sure that was Jermey’s intent—the caption suggests a much darker and more twisted possibility, which (importantly) also manages to incorporate every important frame of reference.

These entries suggest that the room is not, as I had initially assumed, part of a dorm: 

  • “And this is the guest room for people we don’t like.” 
  • “My housekeeper hates me.”

Here is the week’s best “oblivious speaker” entry, which, unlike all the other captions, suggests that the bed belongs to the man with dark hair: “What do you need help moving?”

These captions note that there are different routes up a climbing wall: 

  • “Remember to memorize your route before turning off the light.”
  • “There’s a hundred different ways to get me into bed.”

Here’s a caption for pet-owners: “It was the only way to keep the dog off the bed.”

Assuming, as I did, that the room is part of a college dormitory, this caption makes a reference to portaledges while suggesting that the man who’s speaking is an upper-classman who enjoys hazing younger students: “Freshmen sleep on the side of the wall.”

Finally, we have a reference to the drying agent that climbers use to prevent perspiration: “The worst part is chalky hands on the sheets.”

This week’s winner is, “Women can’t resist a challenge.” by Joseph Sills

The five runners-up are:

  • “Since losing both hands in the climbing accident, it’s hard to get to sleep.”
  • “Actually, I prefer a warm cup of Gatorade.”
  • “I can usually hold it all night.”
  • “Mostly I sleep at my desk.”
  • “It’s tough getting up.”

 

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