Meredith Southard’s cartoon changes the ending of a popular fairytale by having Little Red Riding Hood enter her grandmother’s house to find the old woman tying the wolf to a chair. Hanging on the wall behind the grandmother are framed photos suggesting she was able to subdue the wolf because she works out.
In the original story, the wolf swallows and then disguises himself as the grandmother. When Little Red Riding Hood arrives she comments on her grandmother’s unusually large eyes, hands, and teeth, so my first caption alludes to that conversation: “You know what’s really big? My biceps.”
In the original story, the wolf responds to all of Little Red Riding Hood’s comments by saying, “All the better to see (or embrace or eat) you with.” My second caption implies that Little Red Riding Hood has just commented on the size of her grandmother’s muscles: “All the better to put him in a head-lock with.”
In the original story, Little Red Riding Hood and her grandmother are saved by a huntsman, but the following caption suggests they don’t need him: “Tell the huntsman I’ve got it.”
Boxers and wrestlers use trash talk to disparage and intimidate their opponents. My final caption combines a common example of such talk with the suggestion that it should be taken literally: “I eat guys like this for breakfast. Fire up the stove.”
Now let’s see how you did:
Ever since a 56-year-old Liam Neeson blasted his way through Europe in “”Taken,” many action movies have featured older protagonists (often played by Liam Neeson). This entry uses the most famous line from “Taken” to turn Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother into one of these elderly and unlikely heroes: “What I do have is a particular set of skills.”
As I did, one of you suggested that strong women can save themselves: “You see, dear? We don’t need woodsmen.”
Another woodsmen-related caption turned out to be the week’s best sex joke: “The huntsman? He’s tied up in the bedroom.” Here’s the second-best: “We got bored with just cross-dressing.”
The next five captions suggest that the grandmother knows she’s a character in a story but refuses to play her assigned role:
- “If you don’t like the story, rewrite the ending.”
- “This is how we control our own narrative.”
- “There won’t be any fairy tale endings.”
- “I’m going off script.”
- “I flipped the script.”
Here’s a far superior version of my first captions: “What big biceps I have.” This variation on the same joke is also good: “He didn’t realize what big muscles I have.”
This entry surprised me by turning the grandmother into the predator: “Don’t look in the basement.” A similar caption makes the grandmother a little more sympathetic: “He’ll learn to love me.”
A couple of you incorporated into the story line another fairytale that features a wolf:
- “See if the three little pigs want a minute with him.”
- “There’s a fourth little pig, and he opened a gym.”
That last entry earns extra points for including a clever reference to the pictures on the wall.
In the original story, Little Red Riding Hood is bringing wine and cake to her sickly grandmother, but the next two entries suggest that a woman who can overpower a wolf would be expecting something else:
- “Did you bring the protein bars?”
- “Did you bring the steroids?”
Choosing a winner this week is difficult. I like a lot of the entries, but in the end I have to go with the caption that concisely and cleverly addresses not just the most famous exchange from the original fairy tale, but every new element that Meredith Southard adds to the story: “What big biceps I have.”