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“Horse Heaven” Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood

September 27, 2021 by Lawrence Wood

caption contestIn David Borchart’s cartoon, two recently deceased men in a pantomime horse wait outside the Pearly Gates. Before admitting them to the kingdom of heaven, St. Peter is checking his book for their names. The man in the back half of the horse is saying something to the guy in front.

I first focused on how they died:

  • “I told you to look both ways.”
  • “How is any of this my fault? I could hardly breathe back here let alone see anything.”
  • “At least we died doing what we loved.”

That last caption is nearly identical to the one I submitted for the recent New Yorker contest featuring the Mick Stevens drawing of a man in a bathrobe who’s standing in front of an open refrigerator late at night. Floating above and behind this man is what I assumed to be his ghost. The ghost is speaking. I submitted, “At least you died doing what you loved.” It did well in the crowdsourcing stage but was not selected as a finalist. I’m still upset.

I next assumed the guy in back might be worried about getting rejected from heaven and descending into hell:

  • “If we don’t get in, the damned are going to have a field day with us.”
  • “If we don’t get in, is this costume flame retardant?”

Finally, I came up with a pun: “I never should have agreed to wear this stupid costume, but hindsight is 20/20.”

Now let’s see how you did:

This entry suggests that the man who’s speaking doesn’t yet realize he’s dead:

  • Nice angel costume.”
  • “So how long’s the gig?”

Like I did, many of you focused on how the men died:

  • “Did we land the backflip?”
  • “We were mistaken for a pinata.”
  • “It turns out they do shoot horses.”
  • “I think I know what L’il Jimmy wished for.”

One of you had the exact same idea I did: “At least we died doing what we loved.”

Here are the week’s best puns:

  • “The first shall be last and the last shall be first.”
  • “It looks like I backed the wrong horse.”
  • “This isn’t the first time our act has died.”
  • “I guess this is our last rodeo.”
  • “The end is here.”

And here’s the best fart joke: “Harry just had a curry. Hell can’t be any worse.”

Like I did, one of you noted that people who are not admitted to heaven are condemned to hell: “I just hope this thing is flame-retardant.”

These entries highlight just how unpleasant the rear position in a horse costume can be:

  • “I’d settle for any destination that will offer a better view.”
  • “Believe it or not, my day just got better.”
  • “Oh! I thought I was already in hell.”

This caption notes that the person in back of a pantomime horse is at a particular disadvantage: “I didn’t see it coming.”

The next two entries suggest that the two men stand a better chance of getting through the Pearly Gates if they work together:

  • “Try using my name.”
  • “Tell him to check our aggregated score.”

I like how the last caption suggests that each name is assigned a score and that a particular score is needed to get into heaven.

Finally, here’s a caption that suggests the two men have spent enough time together in the same costume: “Tell him separate gowns.”

This week’s winner is a pun, but a beautifully concise and clever one that addresses every aspect of the cartoon: “The end is here.”

ENTER THE CAPTION CONTEST

Lawrence Wood has won The New Yorker’s Cartoon Caption Contest a record-setting seven times and been a finalist four other times. He has collaborated with New Yorker cartoonists Peter Kuper, Lila Ash, Felipe Galindo Gomez, and Harry Bliss (until Bliss tossed him aside, as anyone would, to collaborate with Steve Martin). Nine of his collaborations have appeared in The New Yorker, and one is included in The New Yorker Encyclopedia of Cartoons.

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