Ellis Rosen has drawn three of those dangerous mythological creatures who bewitched unsuspecting sailors with enchanting music and lured them to their deaths on rocky coasts. Only one of Ellis’s sirens, however, is making music. The other two are using computers, and the one who’s speaking is holding a laptop screen toward an approaching ship.
I first thought about what the siren might say to lure the sailors closer:
- “The WiFi is free.”
- “Free pornography!”
Continuing with the pornography theme, I thought the siren who’s speaking might be addressing the one who’s making music: “Fine, you keep playing the lyre. I’m going to pull up some pornography.”
Finally, I played on the double-meaning of the word “crash:” “I hope they crash on the rocks before my laptop does.”
Now let’s see how you did.
Because of the pandemic there were a lot of Covid-19 entries—many had to do with toilet paper—but only one really worked: “Virus-free.”
There were even more pornography entries, and these were the best:
- “Do you love naked women, but hate having to interact with them?”
- “It has all the knowledge you’ll seek, but you’ll mostly use it for porn.”
- “We have free internet porn.”
Some of you pulled your minds out of the gutter and thought of some inducements that have nothing to do with pornography:
- “We have Wi-Fi!”
- “Free WiFi!”
- “You’ve got mail!”
- “No one can resist clickbait.”
- “Come check out our hotspot.”
- “Unlimited 5G!”
- “I’ll lure them in with this clickbait.”
- “As a bonus, your disaster will be live-streamed.”
- “Come use the Internet, Explorer!”
That last entry is a pun, and (as with many puns) I can’t decide whether I love it or hate it. Here are two more puns about which I have mixed feelings, though I do admire the first entry’s reference to Greek mythology:
- “But we’re not Sirens, we’re computer Greeks.”
- “I finally went lyreless.”
I’m also ambivalent about this entry, which is not a pun: “If the music doesn’t pull them, this funny cat video sure will.” The premise is solid, but the caption’s not punchy enough. Maybe this? “If the music doesn’t attract them, this cat video will.”
Like I did, two of you played on the double-meaning of the word “crash:”
- “At least we can try to crash his computer.”
- “Hope this doesn’t crash.”
This entry highlights an illogical aspect of the cartoon—“Partake of the internet and electricity we somehow have on this rock!”—but almost every drawing that’s used for the caption contest will feature such absurdities. It’s the nature of the game, and simply highlighting the absurd aspect gets you only so far. Still, I like that caption.
This entry is unique for several reasons. It suggests that the siren with the laptop is trying to kill the sailors not by luring them onto the rocks but by using her screen to set the ship on fire, and that she is asking the siren with the desktop computer to help her research the most effective way to carry out her plan: “Find out how long it takes reflected sun rays to burn sails.” It’s kind of brilliant.
This entry is also unique because it suggests that the men on the ship are not victims headed to their doom but computer specialists on their way to provide technical assistance: “They were supposed to be here between ten and two.”
Finally, here are four terrific entries that don’t fit neatly into any category:
- “We can be yours, but you must accept our terms and conditions.”
- “YouCanTrustUsThisTime.com”
- “No one’s looking. They’re all staring at their phones.”
- “I wonder if they know that Hot Singles in Your Area is a myth.”
I like the way that last entry alludes to the mythological nature of the sirens, but I think there should be quotation marks around the words, “Hot Singles in Your Area.”
This week’s winner is, “At least we can try to crash his computer.”