Caption Contest Commentary

I was twelve years old in 1974, when I first saw a paperback copy of “Jaws.”  On the front cover a great white shark rose from the depths toward a naked woman swimming on the surface.  And there, together, were my two greatest fears: sharks and naked women. My fear of naked women was complicated—it…
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In Pat Byrnes’ crime scene, a detective is looking at the chalk outline of a dismembered body and saying something to a uniformed officer. My first idea was to have the detective state the obvious: “I suspect foul play.” “I’m ruling out suicide.” Then, because the six body parts look like puzzle pieces, I considered…
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“Rapid Fire,” a 1992 action film starring Bruce Lee’s son, Brandon, is not a great movie—the late film critic, Gene Siskel, declared it a disaster—but Powers Booth has one great scene in it. He plays Lieutenant Mace Ryan. While bowling with his colleagues he tries to get a spare and leaves just one pin standing….
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In P.C. Vey’s drawing—which is bizarre even by his standards—a man is walking his dog near a fire-hydrant with legs. The fire hydrant is on the move, and man is talking. I first had the man suggesting to the dog an easier alternative to the moving hydrant: “Let’s look for a nice, stationary tree.” I…
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Drew Panckeri has drawn a witch addressing an adult couple she has turned into inflatable pool floats. I first imagined her chastising the couple for complaining: “You’re lucky I turned you into something that floats.” “One more word and I’ll turn you both into stones.” “You know what they’d do to me if I floated?…
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Pat Byrnes has drawn a comedy club full of robots. An audience member is heckling the comic on stage and delivering the line that will serve as the caption. I therefore thought the caption should be an insult. Because robots are metal, and metal rusts, my first insult alludes to the title of Neil Young’s…
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