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"My client would like 75 other offences taken into consideration for his Guinness Book of Records attempt."
"It's the only suit I own, but I'm wearing clean underwear!"
'As the trial is not as juicy as we thought it might be, one of our jurors requests permission to knit.'
'There must be some confusion-I asked for a 'fingerprints' expert.'
CRIMINAL COURT, 'Don't you just HATE it when they show no emotion?'
'It's risky, but we're going to try the old, nothing-really-matters-in-the-big-scheme-of-things-anyway, defense.'