'Right...so that's pages 1-6 on 'Teenage Thugs run Rampage', 7-9 on 'man sued £25,000 for cleaning neighbours path', the middle spread on 'Neighbours from Hell'...and the editorial on 'promoting the Big Society'.'
"It's our latest strategy for guaranteeing a majority in the next Parliament...to be on the safe side we've got Jim sacrificing a goat to Wodan next door as well."
The Death of the Big Society: 'Oh! News of our death is exaggerated...lots of life in the old dog yet...big ideas about doing stuff, all kinds of stuff!'
'The government is determined to get rid of the 'target culture'...in fact we've committed to reducing targets by 68 across 75 of the 76 most target driven departments within 96 days.'