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'I'm afraid at times like this with overstretched budgets we all have to make sacrifices...'
'Here's your rock...you'll find your hard place over there!'
'I agree with Nick.'
Citizen's Advice: 'And here are some leaflets explaining what bastards the Coalition are...'
The Maygic money Treesa."
'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'
'We've completed the spending review and there won't be any.'
'If only we could heat the house with his hot air.'
'What about my human right not to be subject to an election campaign?'
'Right...so that's pages 1-6 on 'Teenage Thugs run Rampage', 7-9 on 'man sued £25,000 for cleaning neighbours path', the middle spread on 'Neighbours from Hell'...and the editorial on 'promoting the Big Society'.'
'Well £60 million is less than I'm used to. . . but now that we've agreed my bonus, what working capital will the bank have?'
"It's our latest strategy for guaranteeing a majority in the next Parliament...to be on the safe side we've got Jim sacrificing a goat to Wodan next door as well."
'Bearing in mind how he protected the Armed Forces and the NHS, I think we're in deep trouble.'
'And this is where we attempt to forecast the true size of the spending cuts!'
The Death of the Big Society: 'Oh! News of our death is exaggerated...lots of life in the old dog yet...big ideas about doing stuff, all kinds of stuff!'
A Government of all the talents
Curing the NHS
'The government is determined to get rid of the 'target culture'...in fact we've committed to reducing targets by 68 across 75 of the 76 most target driven departments within 96 days.'
'So if you do break up which of you will be keeping the untreated patients and bankrupt hospitals?'
"That's it! The recession's over!"