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"Our life is sort of like a bad play, only somehow we've managed to get good reviews."
"This article says 'Area dogs applaud performance; humans call it incessantly infuriating!' Wow! Your barking on the back porch last night was a big hit!"
"I finished my act. Could you come over and give me a hand?"
"In a minor role, but giving a highly charged performance. . ."
"What do the know!"
"The leading man was highly strung - or should be..."
"It was wonderful! We laughed, we cried. We had other emotions too but those were the main ones."
"Best Hamlet I've ever seen - pity the rest of the cast were doing Macbeth!"
'This play even gives failures a bad name!'
'The evening was enjoyable until the curtain went up...'
'Hello? Oh, I'm at the theatre... a play...yeah, it's not bad.'
The Trump Monologues
"What did I think about the play? About an hour too long!"
"Oh, oh - looks like you got a pretty bad review from that poodle who writes for the Globe."