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"Everything's more fun with Muppets!"
Tags:execution, executions, children's show, children's shows, childrens show, childrens shows, kid, kids, audience, audiences, child, children, inappropriate, cute, evil, fun, guillotine, capital punishment, death penalty, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, lighten up, lightening up, shock, offense, offence
Orchestra Arranged As Normal Excluding Man At Back With Gun To His Head
Tags:classical, classical music, musician, musicians, musical, orchestra, orchestras, orchestral, wind, wind instrument, instrument, instruments, section, sections, violin, violins, violinist, percussion, percussive, exotic instrument, orchestra pit, pit, pits, gun, suicidal, tension, tense, mental health, mental health issues, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, tragic, tragedy
"And sign here if you'd like to see his organs become more involved in community theatre."
"I may have waffled, but I never lip-synched."
Tags:hell, underworld, devil, devils, devilish, satan, satanic, death, dead, music, musicians, communicate, communication, communicating, communicates, dishonest, dishonesty, ethical, ethics, ethic, moral, morals, morality, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour, lip-synch, lip-synching, lipsynch, lipsynching
Monuments 'n' Stuff
Tags:storefront, storefronts, name, names, monument, monuments, grave, graves, headstone, headstones, cemetery, cemeteries, disrespect, disrespects, disrespecting, undertaker, undertakers, mortuary, mortuaries, dark humor, black humor, dark humour, black humour, tombstone, tombstones, respect for the dead, show respect, shows respect, showing respect, consumer, consumer culture, consumerism, death, die, dies, dying, retailer, retailers, window shop, window shops, window shopping, modern life, modern times
"Looks like she's started discovering boys."
Tags:parent, parents, parenthood, daughter, daughters, teen, teens, teenager, discovering boys, childhood development, growing up, adolescence, adolescent, puberty, body, bodies, dead body, dead bodies, murder, murdered, corpse, corpses, pun, puns, wordplay, dark humour, dark humor, black humour, black humor
"No, you die first."
Tags:dead, death, dying, die, dies, died, love, loving, romance, romantic, play on words, word play, word-play, deathbed, death bed, last words, last word, dark, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, phone, phones, conversation, conversations, lovey dovey, lovey-dovey, gushing, gush, girl, girly, twist, twists, twisted, date, dates, dating, things we do for love, doomed love, extreme, extreme feelings, no you, no you hang up
"I think we may be witnessing a defining moment in his presidency."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, boss, bosses, executive, executives, exec, execs, manager, managers, management, office, offices, office life, employee, employees, worker, workers, death, dead, shooting, weapon, weapons, firearm, firearms, gun, guns, gun control, firearms regulation, gun violence, gun crime, president, presidents, defining moment, defining moments, witness, witnesses, witnessing, violence, violent, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour
"You have brought sunshine to my life and now I must say good-bye."
Tags:gun, guns, pistol, pistols, colt, colts, shoot, shot, shoots, shooting, toaster, toasters, toasted, appliance, appliances, kitchen, kitchens, kitchenette, suicidal, invert, inverted, subvert, subverted, dark, dark humor, black humor, black humour, dark humour, grim, grimdark, goodbye, goodbyes, death, dead, die, died, dying
"O.K. That covers the last meal. Now, which would you prefer, hanging, electrocution, or lethal injection?"
Tags:prison, prisons, jail, jails, incarceration, inmate, inmates, convict, convicts, prisoner, prisoners, criminal, criminal, punishments, capital punishment, death penalty, officer, officers, guard, guards, jailer, jailers, prison guard, prison guards, note, notes, questionnaire, questionnaires, survey, surveys, data collection, last meal, last meals, meal, meals, food, hanging, electrocution, lethal injection, execution, executions, methods of execution, condemned, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour
"Bring in another!"
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, horror, horrific, cannibalize, cannibalizes, cannibalizing, cannibalise, cannibalises, cannibalising, eat, eats, eating, child, children, kid, kids, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, dark humor, black humor, dark humour, black humour, christmas, christmas season, monster, monsters, monstrous, evil, demon, demons
"...nineteen, twenty. Ready or not, here I come!"
"...And then we have the 'Terrorist Special' where you're shot in the head and then dumped at the airport of your choice."
Tags:terrorists, terror attack, terror attacks, war zone, travel warning, travel warnings, war zones, tourist attraction, tourist attractions, travel agent, travel agents, travel agency, travel, travel company, vacation, holiday, holidays, vacations, airport, airplane, aeroplane, pilot, excursions, dark tourist, tourist, tourism, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, terrorism
"Confound it, staff knows this door's to be kept locked!"
Tags:dark, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, hunting, hunter, hunters, high society, rich, the rich, rich people, rich man, big game hunting, big game, big game hunter, trophy, trophies, trophy hunting, human, human head, gory, fear, horror, classic horror, shock, shocking, strange, surreal, imagery, wall, walls, mansion, mansions, haunted, haunted house, halloween
"The good news is it's the size of a baseball."
Tags:tumour, tumours, tumor, tumors, baseball, baseballs, sport, sports, sportsman, sporting, base ball, the game, last inning, final inning, terminal, doctor, doctors, medicine, medicines, good news, bad news, good news and bad news, apt, appropriate, hospital, hospitals, gallows humor, black humor, dark humor, gallows humour, black humour, dark humour, get well, get well soon
A gravestone with an epitaph that reads "It's just a cold".
Tags:death, dead, cemetery, cemeteries, graveyard, graveyards, tombstone, tombstones, headstone, headstones, gravestone, gravestone, grave, graves, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, misdiagnosis, diagnosis, cold, colds, common cold, malpractice, medical malpractice, mistake, mistakes, error, errors, black humour, black humor, dark humour, dark humor
"That liver went to someone who doesn't have such a big yap."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, sick, sickness, ill, illness, transplant, transplants, liver, organ, organs, organ donation, organ donor, organ donors, angry, anger, annoyed, annoying, big mouth, big mouth, talkative, offensive, insulting, loudmouth, loudmouths, rude, transplant list, transplant lists, dying, lost, ineligible, bias, prejudice, insensitive, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour
"Something collarless. I'm being guillotined."
Tags:shopping, shop, store, stores, fashion, fashionable, sales, salesclerk, salesman, salesperson, men, men's clothing, clothing, clothes, style, styles, trend, trendy, trending, execute, execution, death, death sentence, sentenced to death, guillotine, guillotined, dark humour, dark humor, black humour, black humor
"He was doing just fine till he choked on one of those flexible straws."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, waiting room, waiting rooms, waiting area, waiting areas, icu, intensive care unit, i.c.u., death, choking, choked, straw, straws, plastic straw, plastic straws, flexible, drinking straw, drinking straws, drink, drinks, drinking, bad news, relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, dead husband, dead husbands, widow, widows, mourning, grieving, bereaved, hospital food, hospital meals, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour
"That get-well card we sent certainly was a waste of money."
"Hi, I'm your court-appointed lawyer-whoa! Don't tell me you've been executed already."
Tags:lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, court-appointed, public defender, public defenders, defence, defense, client, clients, defendant, defendants, jail, jail, prison, prisons, criminal, criminals, convict, convicts, death row, death penalty, capital punishment, execution, executions, executed, cell, cells, empty, gone, disappeared, too late, bad timing, incompetent, incompetents, incompetence, death, black humour, black humor, dark humour, dark humor
"Here comes your tomato surprise, sir!"
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, service, customer service, tomato surprise, surprise, surprises, surprise attack, surprise attacks, attacking, monster, monsters, creature, creatures, evil, horror, fantasy, death, customer, customers, patron, patrons, food safety, health hazard, health hazards, unsafe, imminent death, dark humor, dark humour, black humour, black humor, bad surprise, bad surprised
"Oh, love handles! We haven't had those in a while."
Tags:desert, deserts, sand, sand dunes, mirage, wasteland, lost, getting lost, cactus, cactuses, cacti, wilderness, vulture, vultures, carrion, bird, diet, diets, dieting, chub, chubby, heavy set, fat, fatter, fatness, love handles, love handle, spare tire, ironic, dark humour, dark humor, black humor, black humour, gallows humor, gallows humor, dead, death, crawl, crawling, cuisine, cuisines, exotic food, exotic foods, variety, variation, variations
"It's a good thing Effie likes these little funerals, she's had such awful luck with her pets."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, evil kids, evil children, horror, scary, evil, pet, pets, animal, animals, funeral, funerals, burial, burials, death, dead, cemetery, cemeteries, graveyard, graveyards, tombstone, tombstones, headstone, headstones, gravestone, gravestone, grave, graves, dead pet, dead pets, killer, killers, murderer, murderers, murder, murders, killing, killings, serial killers, psychopath, psychopaths, psychopathy, mental health, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, suspicious, suspicious deaths, bad luck, unlucky
"We're hoping for an uptick."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, bed ridden, sick, sickness, ill, illness, serious, deathbed, death, hope, hoping, uptick, positive, optimist, optimists, optimism, black humour, black humor, dark humor, dark humour, terminal, stock, stocks, stock market, broker, brokers, stockbroker, stockbrokers, trading, economy, investor, investors, investment, investments, investing