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'When I say 'February' what do you think of? . . . I was hoping for 'Valentine's Day', but I guess that was a long shot.'
Woman: 'I don't think I've ever met anyone quite like you before!'
'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'
'Me? I'm from a one horse town. . . It was incredibly lonely.'
'Do you mind if I call my parole officer?'
Bad Valentines Cards
Tags:valentine, valentines, valentines day, valentine's day, couple, couples, love, loving, lovey dovey, relationship, dating, date, dates, medical insurance, insurance, medical, genetic, genetics, tasteless, tasteless cards, greeting card, greetings cards, greetings card, greeting cards, valentines card, valentines cards, selfish, selfishness, self serving, self-serving, self-centred, self-centered, self centred, self centered, self obsessed, self-obsessed
"My mistake, really. I thought your ad said you were into cross-training."
Tags:cafe, cafes, dating, dates, dated, gender issues, gender stereotype, misread, misreading, mistake, mistakes, cross-training, cross training, training, gym, gyms, gym rat, gym rats, exercise, exercises, fitness, internet, internet dating, drag, ad, ads, personal, personals, finding love, love, lovelorn
"You make me want to be a better person than you."
Tags:choice, choices, restaurant, restaurants, dinner, eating out, out to eat, dining, fine dining, waiter, waiters, foodie, foodies, food lover, food lovers, date, dates, first dates, break up, break ups, break-up, break-ups, better, better person, self, self improvement, improving, improve, improvement, betterment, self betterment, self image, persuade, persuading, pretentious, pretentiously, self love, jealous, jealousy, competitive, competition, backhanded, backhanded compliment, insult, insulted, insulting, rude, rudely, mean, foot in mouth
"I don't want our date to end, either, but my arm is about to fall off."
Tags:date, dates, dating, carry, carries, carrying, jane, swing, swings, swinging, heavy, heaviness, lift, lifts, lifting, arm, arms, complain, complains, complaining, carry, carries, carrying, heavy load, heavy loads, heavy lifting, complaint, complaints, swing from tree to tree, swinging from tree to tree, pain, pains, painful, tire, tires, tiring, tired out, tuckered out, exhausted, exhaustion, exhaust, exhausting
"If I had known you were going to wear the thong I would have killed myself."
Tags:boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, dating, date, dates, relationship, relationships, husband, wife, husbands, wives, couple, couples, marriage, married, marry, swimsuits, bathing suit, bathing suits, swimming costume, swimming costumes, swim trunks, beachwear, summer, summertime, sun, sunshine, beach, beaches, embarrassed, embarrassing, exaggerated, exaggerate, exaggerating, dramatic, confident, confidence, nagging, nag, bother, bothering, annoy, annoying, pestering, pestered
"Do you want to be ridiculously enmeshed?"
Tags:relationship, relationships, love, marriage, marriages, couple, couples, proposal, proposals, proposing, engagement, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, dating, date, dates, partner, partners, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, enmeshed, entangled, trap, traps, trapping, unhealthy, unhealthy relationship, unhealthy relationships, clingy, needy, relationship problems, relationship issues
"This isn't about you, Cheryl. In this crazy world your problems don't amount to a hill of beans. This is about me."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, partner, partners, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, dating, date, dates, argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, conflict, conflicts, divorce, divorces, split, splits, separation, separations, breakup, breakups, break up, break ups, break-up, break-ups, problem, problems, crazy world, hill of beans, ego, vanity, vain, self-centred, self-centered, selfish, narcissistic, narcissism, narcissist, narcissists, arrogant, arrogance, movie quotes, film quotes, movie, movie, films, films, man, men
"Of all the women I've ever loved, Debbie, you're the most recent."
"Really, Karen! He's old enough to be your husband."
"I'm just a simple man preceded by an inordinately complex reputation."
"I can't eat all that."
"Grace and polish, all bundled up together in one man?"
Tags:dating, dates, man, men, perfect man, perfect men, grace, good manners, courteousness, decency, respect, refinement, refined, gentleman, perfect gentlemen, stereotypes, gender stereotype, talk, talking, discussion, discussing, gossip, drinks, drink, cocktail, cocktails, drinks with friends, disbelieving, disbelieve, got in all, have it all, gossips, gossiping, renaissance man, whole package
"A MacArthur, the lecture circuit, and thou!"
Tags:whiskey, whisky, whisky lover, whisky lovers, whiskey lover, whiskey lovers, date, dating, dates, bad dates, dating disasters, dating disaster, first date, first dates, middle-class dates, middle-class date, middle-aged dates, middle-aged date, uncomfortable, imposing, borish, bore, mansplain, mansplaining, mansplainer
"You're awfully tame this evening."
"I have an agenda, Barbara, and you're on it."
"When your profile said you were a ball player this isn't exactly what I had in mind."
"This is my Facebook lover Mark."
Tags:facebook friends, lover, lovers, internet date, internet dating, internet lover, relationship, relationships, affair, affairs, cheat, cheats, having an affair, date, dates, dating, marriage issues, marriage problems, married, fake love, message, messaging, messenger, unreal, unrealistic, fake, lie, liar, lying, catfish, catfishing
"Either have dessert or a more interesting conversation."
Tags:dessert, desserts, conservation, conversations, bore, bores, boring, eavesdrop, eavesdrops, eavesdropping, eavesdropper, eavesdroppers, listen in, listens in, listening in, spy, spies, spying, waiter, waiters, wait staff, front of house, front of house team, couple, couples, turn tables, turning tables, chat, chats, chatting, chatter, small talk, make small talk, making small talk, bad date, bad dates, date, dates, dating
"I'd never go out with him, but he does give great cubicle."
Tags:relationship, relationships, date, dates, dating, coworker, coworkers, co-worker, co-workers, colleague, colleagues, work together, works together, working together, cubicle, cubicles, office space, office spaces, office, offices, pros and cons, friend zone, friend zones, romantic interest, chat, chats, chatting, gossip, gossips, gossiping
"Was I supposed to answer? I thought it was a rhetorical text."