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'Shocking, that anyone would want to eat me, I'm sure you all agree.'
'He asked me if I wanted to put anything on my burger, so I had a tenner each way.'
'It's been like this since the horse meat thing, they bet on the first burger on the plate.'
'Do you think we will get away with it?'
Romania bans the riding of bicycles on all roads.
'...and a food processor, but please, don't try this at home...'
'Out test show that your haddock is really flounder, your flounder is cod, your cod is tilapia, and your tilapia is chicken.'
'Horsemeat in pies, eh, sir, who can you trust nowadays?'
'We have your test results...I'm sorry to say you're 45% horse.'
"I'm happy to say, our burgers are now made with 100% pure beef parts."