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'Due to cutbacks we've had to accept a sponsor for your stitches.'
"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, service, customer service, illness, ill, sick, sickness, disease, diseases, hazmat suit, hazmat suits, hazardous, dangerous, risky, report, reports, reporting, food poisoning, hygiene, unhygienic, food-borne illness, health inspector, health inspectors, health inspection, health inspections, decontamination suit, decontamination suits, hazardous materials suit, hazardous materials suits, public health, public health and safety, medical, medicine, centers for disease control and prevention, cdc, c.d.c., bad date, bad dates, date, dates, couple, couples
Return Of The Flu.
How to take advantage of Global warming and obesity.
'I don't like the idea of a government supported health care, dude. I'd prefer to let my mom and dad take care of everything.'
Typical...You don't see one for weeks then they all arrive together.'
"Chemical spill? What chemical spill? Anybody here know anything about a chemical spill?"
Tags:chemical, chemicals, chemical spill, chemical spills, run interference, running interference, denial, denials, deny, denies, denying, environmentalism, corporation, corporations, lie, lies, lying, public health, irradiated, radiation, health hazard, health hazards, hazardous materials, materials, play dumb, plays dumb, playing dumb, disavow, disavows, disavowing, unsafe, safety procedure, safety procedures, regulation, regulations, health regulations, regulating, big business, big businesses, chemical company, chemical companies, chemical corporation, chemical corporations
'The committee's decided to ban further research until it can be proven your 'wheel' poses no threat to the environment, society or public health.'
In the interests of hygiene, please use the tongs provided
"I don't know - the EPA was here when I left last night."
'No Batguy, it wasn't your arch nemesis who dumped toxic chemicals into the city's water supply, it was another deregulated mega-corporation.'
Tags:mega-corporations, corporate malfeasance, pollution, environment, environmentalist, environmentalists, environmental activist, environmental activists, superhero, superheroes, super hero, super heroes, sustainability, clean energy, deregulation, public health, consumer rights, public safety, super hero, superheroes, toxic water, dumping chemicals, chemical disposal
Balloon Animal Vaccinations
Tags:spoof, spoofed, anti-vax, anti-vaxxer, vaccination, vaccinations, even kids know, get your vaccines, get your vaccinations, vaccinations, vaccine, vaccines, doctor, doctors, health, public health, kid, kids, balloon, balloons, balloon animal, balloon animals, animal, animals, vet, vets, pet, pets, literal gag, slapstick, slap stick, play on words, word play
'The virus attacks part of your brain and makes you extremely gullible. I'll see you on Monday, and don't forget to pay your $30,000 co-pay on the way out.'
'That is the bike lane...'
'Don't you have anything larger?'
'I only sneezed because I have hay fever.'
Pharmaceutical industry versus public health.
Scientist taking air quality reading on roof with canary wearing gas mask.
'Here's a copy of our new triage plan...the order is now walking wounded first, the dying and dead second, lawyers last...'
Suddenly Harold froze, trying to remember if he had ordered a side of roaches, or if this was a gross violation of public healthcare policy.
Hazardous Wastes R Us
Would she want to know about the anti-smoking drug that he had developed? He pondered.
'Sorry, I can't let you have a last cigarette. The firing squad don't like breathing in second hand smoke.'
Contaminated eggs? No problem at all!