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"Oh come off it, Aston! The only reason you decided to detest Chris Evert is because no one else does."
'That's my grunting coach.'
'And if you're listening to this ladies tennis match in digital stereo the grunt from your left is from Serena Williams and from the right is...'
"I can't understand women. They're happy punching each other around a boxing ring but ask them to hit a tennis ball and they scream in agony!"