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"My donation to the DNC had been returned."
"It's one of the Koch brothers, better take it."
"Run, everybody - run for your life! It's them - it's the Koch brothers!"
"It says here that you gave a lot of money to both parties and neither expected nor received anything in return. Very nice, but we'll have to put you in the crazy section."
'I thought my money would buy me love and eternal gratitude'
Spent it all on the primaries.
'Is that all I get for my £25 donation, Lord Cheapskate Bastard!'
Former Campaign Donor - Spent it all on the best politicians money can buy.
"What you need to triumph in politics is a lot of contacts and not a lot of scruples."
"When you bought your politician, you knew you'd have to walk him at least twice a day."