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"If it weren't for the Botox, right now I'd be so sharing your enthusiasm."
Tags:botox injection, botox injections, hollywood, award, awards, award ceremony, award ceremonies, plastic, plastic surgery, plastic surgeons, awards ceremony, awards ceremonies, superficial, superficiality, actress, actresses, look young, looks young, looking young, youthful, plastic surgeries, glamour, glamor
"We're presenting this year's award to the tomato—for the way he has deepened our understanding of world-conflict resolution, for fostering the ideals of peace, friendship, and international brotherhood, and for being delicious."
Tags:award, awards, awarding, awards ceremony, awards ceremonies, prize, prizes, presentation, presentations, presenting, tomato, tomatoes, food, anthropomorphic, anthropomorphism, personification, peace, world peace, friendship, international, brotherhood, conflict resolution, understanding, ideal, ideals, delicious, tasty, united nations, un
"This is so unexpected – I didn't even prepare a speech."
Tags:speeding ticket, speeding tickings, parking ticket, parking tickets, fine, fines, penalty, penalties, traffic police, traffic cops, traffic cop, awards ceremonies, award ceremony, winning an award, l.a., la, los angeles, hollywood, thespian, thespians, actor, actors, actress, actresses, unexpected, surprise, surprising, surprises
"But most of all I'd like to thank the zeitgeist."
"First, I'd like to thank the Academy."
Tags:religion, religious, bible, biblical, old testament, exodus, book of exodus, deuteronomy, book of deuteronomy, moses, commandment, commandments, ten commandments, 10 commandments, decalogue, mt. sinai, accepting, acceptance speech, acceptance speeches, award ceremony, awards ceremonies, academy, award, awards, speech, speeches, famous, celeb, celebs, celebrity, celebrities, star, stars, actor, actors, entertainment
"Something intellectual-I'm presenting a goddam writing award."
Tags:beauty, beauty shop, beauty shops, hair salon, hair salons, hair dresser, hair dressers, hair styles, hair style, hair stylist, hair stylists, cosmetology, cosmetologists, cosmetologist, makeup artist, makeup artists, award, awards, award show, host, hosts, hostess, hostesses, hollywood, awards ceremony, awards ceremonies, intellectual, incompetent, incompetents, unskilled, unprofessional, look smart, dressing smart
"The award for best performance by a doctor in a TV interview goes to . . ."
Tags:doctor, doctors, tv interview, tv interviews, journalism, journalist, journalists, reporter, reporters, awards ceremony, awards ceremonies, tv award, tv awards, television award, television awards, performance, performances, actor, actors, celeb, celebs, celebrity, celebrities, award, awards, entertainment industry
"This ought to bring in the young demographic!"
Tags:awards show, awards shows, awards ceremony, awards ceremonies, awards show, awards shows, sex appeal, film award, film awards, movie award, movie awards, trophy, trophies, statue, statues, demographic, demographics, key demographic, key demographics, ratings, tv ratings, television ratings, telecast, telecasts
"And, finally, to my wife, my love and appreciation for her understanding and critical insights, without whom this project would never have been accomplished."
Tags:neanderthal, neanderthals, cavemen, caveman, cave men, cave man, cave dweller, cave dwellers, prehistoric man, early man, stone age, the stone age, archaeology, archaeologist, archaeologists, cave painting, cave paintings, lascaux, translate, translator, translators, translating, speech, speeches, award ceremony, awards ceremonies, acknowledgement, acknowledgements
The 2024 Deepfake awards
"I'm not going to sit here and make fun of the very people I'm wasting my time watching."
Tags:award ceremony, award ceremonies, awards ceremony, awards ceremonies, mockery, mocking, heckler, hecklers, heckling, couch potato, couch potatoes, celeb, celebs, celebrity, celebrities, celebrity culture, fan, fans, cynic, cynics, husband, husbands wife, wives, time wasting, wasting time, time waster, time wasters
"Not fair! Being really into movies is my thing!"
May I have the envelope, please?
Tags:envelope, envelopes, hollywood, mail, mailbox, mailboxes, postbox, postboxes, post box, post boxes, mail box, mail boxes, award, awards, award ceremony, awards ceremonies, movie industry, movie business, film industry, film studio, film studios, la la land, los angeles, la, culture, pop culture, popular culture
"And lastly, I'd just like to say a big '*&$@' you to Mrs. Peters, my fourth grade teacher."
"This goes to our Most Aggressive Defender and, ironicall, first person ever to foul out of an awards banquet..."
'...and the award for best newcomer goes to...'
"I would like to thank my owners, my trainer, my jockey, and everyone else in my stable, without whom my victory would not have been possible."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, horse, horses, race horse, race horses, horse racing, race, races, racing, jockey, jockeys, trainer, trainers, owner, owners, stable, stables, victory, win, wins, winning, victories, interview, interviews, press, media, post-race, winner, winners, victor, victors, thanking, grateful, acceptance speech, acceptance speeches, award, awards, awards ceremony, awards ceremonies, sport, sports
Man tripping over a cable at a safety awards night.
"Well, for starters, I'd like to thank me."
"Apparently they hand out awards for something called 'television.'"
Tags:smart device, smart devices, smartphone, smartphones, awards ceremony, awards ceremonies, award, television, telvisions, television show, television shows, tv show, tv shows, tablet, tablets, computer tablet, computer tablets, modern life, modern child, modern children, millennial, millennials, generation z, internet generation, internet generations, generation gap, generation gaps, internet, internet obsessed, internet obsession
A woman bows to the crowd
"Next we've got our awards for imperfect attendance."
Tags:attendance record, attendance records, perfect attendance, imperfect attendance, prize, prizes, prize ceremony, prize ceremonies, award ceremony, awards ceremony, awards ceremonies, award ceremonies, assembly, pupil, pupils, student, students, truant, truants, truancy, truancies, skiving off, skive, skived, skiver, skivers, dumbing down, dumbed down, achievement, achievements
"Oh, I think Whoopi is a good choice, but I would have preferred Greenspan."
"But what will I not wear?!"