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"I'm sorry, Richard, but you've failed to provide me with a male heir."
"Your Majesty, this learned committee has done deep research on the subject, and we have come to one conclusion: queens often marry down."
"Will it all end in tiaras?"
"There's no way I'm letting them call me Princess Henry or Princess Harry!!"
'We're very excited about the royal wedding.'
'Put some beef it, Philip - we can't have that rugger chap ruling the waves in OUR Britannia!'
Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall
Royal Wedding History
'A special thanks to Barry who is allowing us to make our fruit punch in his fish pond.'
'There is always the chance that you won't be invited.'
After the couple marry, Mrs Bowles will take the title HRH Duchess of Cornwall, but will have to hop behind Charles on one leg covered in a sheet chanting Goon songs.
"It's worse than a divorce. They're having a civil war!"