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The Ancient Tea Ceremony of Astoria
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"I'd love to chat, Al, but I've got to hit the road."
"Do you know where Noah kept the bees?" "In the ark hives?"
Our grandfathers called it the Sabbath, our fathers called it Sunday... And we call it the weekend.
'Could I borrow your giant scissors for a minute? I cancelled payment on this giant check and I need to cut it up.'
Church Restoration Fund.
"Say the whole prayer, none of this et cetera, et cetera..."
"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"
Have you said grace? No, we said grace yesterday, this is leftovers!
The Nargleys perform their post-holiday ritual of trying to blow all the needles off the tree in one breath,
'Har-ha! Hattus horribilis!'
'Hit it with a ship, like they do on telly.'
'I've been knighted by Queen Latifah.'
Rolling the red carpet before and after the important man
'You'll have to excuse Pat; she hates to see champagne go to waste.'
Doug finally got a chance to use his karate and he forgot to make the ceremonial bow.'
Who was the strongest man in history? Jonah, even a whale couldn't keep him down!
God must have found out what you did to my stamp collection!
"Jack'z the bestess friend. My wife still doesn't know where we'were that night..." Why we toast before we start drinking.
Graduation day at the International College of Fencing.
St. Gregory Church - We will not be undersaved.
'Remember, it's YOUR benefit game - go out and foul whoever you like!'