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"I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do for him. He overdosed on campaign commercials."
"The issues are a big snore, Dave. Let's talk about my hair on fire."
The Complain About the Election Channel
"Here are today's political campaign numbers: spin is up 10%, truth is down 5%, flip flops up 20%..."
'The Candidates' 'Campaign Promises' have been re-named 'Campaign ideas' to avoid lawsuits.'
'A poll today said any candidate would win easily if heshe changed his name to 'Harry Potter'.'