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'I'm a personal injury attorney. Have you ever been hurt on the job?'
Tags:pirate, pirates, captain, captains, attorney, attorneys, lawyer, lawyers, solicitor, solicitors, injure, injures, injured, injury, injuries, claim, claims, claiming, claimed, compensation, compensate, compensating, compensated, personal injury, personal injuries, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
Drive-In Claim Center
"I'm sorry, sir, but if you weren't wearing clean underwear we automatically deny your claim."
Tags:medical, denied, deny, denies, claim, claims, insurance, void, voided, voids, loop hole, loop holes, loop-hole, loop-holes, loophole, loopholes, insured, insurances, medical insurance, operator, call centre, call center, accident, accidents, underwear, dodge, dodged, legal, legality, fine print, fineprint, health insurance, health, accidental, doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, bureaucrat, bureaucracy, bureaucratic, phone, phones, enquiry, inquire
'As of yet, no group has claimed responsibility.'
Tags:responsible, responsibility, break, breaks, breaking, broke, broken, breakage, breakages, smash, smashes, smashed, smashing, guilt, guilts, guilty, claim, claims, claimed, claiming, accident, accidents, accidental, accidentally, vase, vases, flower pot, flower pots, ornament, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"If you look carefully you'll see that all claims are invalid except on alternate Tuesdays in June and when Venus is in alignment with Mars."
'I claim this land for...'
Tags:dog, dogs, canine, canines, territory, territories, territorial, wee, wees, mark, marks, marking, marked, flag, flags, flagging, flagged, claim, claims, claiming, claimed, late, lateness, beat, beats, beating, beaten, fast, faster, fastest, urinate, urinates, urinated, urination, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'I claim this mountain in the name of all underachievers everywhere!'
Tags:mountain, mountains, mountaineering, climb, climbs, climbing, climber, climbed, climbers, underachieve, underachieves, underachiever, underachievers, underachievement, fall short, falls short, falling short, fell short, claim, claims, claiming, claimed, achieve, achievement, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
Clyde Shwinkle: Best dang dog attorney... Ever!
Tags:dog, dogs, canine, canines, court, courts, attorney, attorneys, lawyer, lawyers, solicitor, solicitors, defendant, defendants, prosecution, prosecutions, claim, claims, claimed, claiming, claimant, claimants, accuse, accuses, accusing, accused, accusation, accusations, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'Oh yeah? Well I'll see you in small clams court!'
Tags:clam, clams, claim, claims, court, courts, court order, court orders, dispute, disputes, disputing, disputed, argue, argues, arguing, argued, settle, settles, settling, settled, settlement, settlements, threat, threats, threaten, threatens, threatening, threatened, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'That's my weird Uncle Benny. He claims that he was abducted by aliens in white lab coats.'
Tags:rat, rats, mouse, mice, rodent, rodents, alien, aliens, abduct, abducts, abduction, abductions, abducted, crazy, craziness, weird, strange, odd, different, claim, claims, claiming, claimed, scientist, scientists, test, tests, testing, tested, animal testing, product testing, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
Tags:trouble ahead, argument, arguments, towel, towels, customized, customizations, customised, customisation, hand towel, hand towels, his 'n' hers, his and hers, bath towel, bath towels, set, sets, spat, spats, row, rows, fight, fights, fighting, bathroom, bathrooms, toilet, toilets, hers 'n' hers, hers and hers, claim, claims, claiming, possession, possessions
"What do you mean it's not mine?"
Luck of the IRS.
'I've had a chance to look over your policy and I'm afraid you're not covered.'
'Yes, I do want insurance. Can I take out a policy against you ringing me up at work.'
'Steady, we have to catch them in the right mood. Alright, now! Fire those reimbursement requests over!'
King glaring at a map labelled "Mine" and "Theirs"
Tags:king, kings, royal, royalty, royals, monarch, monarchs, sovereign, sovereigns, ruler, rulers, kingdom, kingdoms, empire, empires, land, lands, property, properties, claim, claims, land claim, land claims, property claim, property claims, map, maps, geography, government, governments, border, borders, real estate, land survey, land surveys, title, titles, mine, theirs, vanity, vain, ego, possessive, possession, possessions, jealous, jealousy, greed, greedy
'We deny most claims, but that's how we keep your premiums so low.'
"Cheetah more than friend. Cheetah dependent."
Tags:tax, taxes, tax day, tax days, write-off, write-offs, dependent, dependents, dependence, cheetah, ape, apes, monkey, monkeys, chimp, chimps, chimpanzee, chimpanzees, claim, claims, claiming, friend, friends, friendship, friendships, 1040, 1040s, creative accounting, accountant, accountants, save money, saves money, saving money
'Can I claim the cost of my nervous breakdown as a business expense?'
'I need some time off. I just discovered that I'm suing myself.'
'Lawsuits, lawsuits, lawsuits...'
"Well, certainly his claim seems justified , but if we paid off every justified claim what kind of insurance company would we be?"
Tags:insurance, insurance company, insurance companies, insurance examiner, insurance examiners, insurance investigator, insurance investigators, claims adjuster, claims adjusters, claim, claims, justified, justification, money, finances, paying out, ethics, unethical, car insurance, home insurance, health insurance, life insurance, travel insurance, rejected, rejection, insurance industry, business, businessman, businessmen, greed, greedy
'We're playing Doctor.. I'm filing for insurance claims, and Tommy's on the phone to his lawyer.'
'I think you misunderstood. The million dollar umbrella policy only covers you for claims involving an umbrella.'