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'We've worked out an answer...what was the question?'
'Norman, mentoring is not about making everybody else the same as you.'
'Unfortunately our policy initiative of a '360' degree client facing strategic realignment of core structural...'
'Nobody turned up to the 'effective communications' seminar...they didn't get our memo.'
'Having undertaken a lengthy and comprehensive review of the issues surrounding the lack of progress in implementing the policy in question...'
'Here we have a timetable for setting a target for when we can confirm a target for getting rid of more targets.'
"It's not what you do, it's what people see that counts"
"According to the survey,retention is helped by training and money...There's no mention of chaining staff to their desks."
'I'm very worried that if we fail to introduce rigid protocols to maximise client gratification indices within acceptable costbenefit parameters to ensure enhanced margins...then we'll have missed the whole point of what Christmas is about!!!'
'We believe in treating all our customers as individuals...this, for example, is individual no 76/KLC/PO/2387A.'
Mentors guide you through the maze.
'Well there is some GOOD news and BAD news resulting from the recent layoffs...the GOOD news is that we can offer you the team leaders role...'
'Look at that concentration I hope I'm not intimidating her too much.'
'I was hoping for a more sophisticated communications strategy for staff motivation than wearing those in supervisions.'
'He's not finished his 'effective supervision' training yet.'
'Well I hope that my talk has been useful in helping you all to understand the work of reception staff.'
After all he'd done it seemed the least we could do!
"Management is about delegation, so I'm delegating you to sack yourself."