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Execution Fairground Attraction
"Stop catching the bullets!"
"Gee—it's just like in the movies!"
Tags:cop, cops, police, police officer, noir, crime thriller, crime fiction, criminal, criminals, on the run, detective, detectives, killer, killers, murderer, murderers, horror, old school, old school horror, film, films, movie, movies, execute, executed, executioner, executioners, capital punishment, jail, jailed, criminal, death row, dead, dying, die, died, death
An executioner practices beheading with his son on a tee-ball.
Tags:tee-ball, father-son bond, father-son bonds, bond, bonds, bonding time, bonding times, executioner, executioners, execute, executes, executing, father, fathers, dad, dads, son, sons, family business, family businesses, tee ball, tee, tees, tee off, tees off, teeing off, practice, practices, practicing, baseball bat, baseball bats, bat, bats, batting, batter, batters, swing, swings, swinging, axe, axes, blade, blades, executioner's blade
'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'
'Before you're released, would you mind taking our exit survey?'
'The bad news is you're to be executed at dawn. The good news is your executioner is not a morning person.'
"And with 10 being the highest, you're sure you're only at a 6?"
"Don't believe them when they say they want topical material."
Tags:censor, censors, censorship, censoring, jestor, jestors, jester, jesters, court, royal court, royal courts, king, kings, monarch, monarchs, queen, queens, monarchy, monarchies, royal, royals, royalty, joke, jokes, topical material, arrest, arrests, execution, executions, executioner, executioners, free speech, oppression, oppressed, tyranny, tyrannies, tyrant, tyrants
"OK, now—this time for real!"
Tags:false start, false starts, miss, misses, missing, firing squad, firing squads, death penalty, capital punishment, death row, execution, executions, execute, executes, executing, executioner, executioners, frighten, frightens, frightening, scare, scares, scaring, scare to death, scares to death, scaring to death, target, targets, targeting, targeted
"This is what you get for trying to be a wit."
Tags:wit, wits, witty, wittiness, witticism, witticisms, smart alek, smart alecks, smart alec, smart alecs, jestor, jestors, jester, jesters, firing squad, firing squads, executioner, executioners, execution, executions, death penalty, death penalties, death sentence, death sentences, smart ass, smart asses, dictator, dictators, dictatorship, tyranny, tyrannies, tyrant, tyrants
"Any moment now, Sire, they'll get outrage fatigue."
"I'm just the anesthesiologist."
Tags:anaesthesiologist, anaesthesiologists, anesthesiologist, anesthesiologists, anaesthesia, anaesthetics, knock out, knocking out, knocked out, anaesthetise, anaesthetised, anesthetise, anaesthetised, execute, executed, executioner, executioners, guillotine, guillotines, death penalty, medieval death penalty, death penalties
"I guess my wife couldn't make it."
"Jeez, did we ever goof!"
Tags:execute, executes, executing, executioner, executioners, martyr, martyrs, religious martyr, religious martyrs, capital punishment, death penalty, blunder, blunders, prophet, prophets, divine, divinity, bless, blesses, blessing, blessings, angel, angels, afterlife, afterlives, judgement day, judgment day, mistake, mistakes, goof, goofs, pious, piety, believer, believers, god's will, sins, sinning, saint, saints, martyred, blame, blames, blaming, god's wrath
"Um, O.K., yes, Boardwalk for Connecticut Avenue."
Tags:king, kings, ruler, rulers, monarch, monarchs, sovereign, sovereigns, royal, royalty, game, games, board game, board games, playing board games, cheater, cheaters, peasant, peasants, servant, servants, citizen, citizens, prisoner, prisoners, guard, guards, executioner, executioners, threatening, menacing, scary, convincing, trading
"And if we start televising the executions we can also market a hilarious bloopers tape."
Tags:marketing, marketing, brand, brands, branding, public relations, idea, ideas, profit, profits, amoral, immoral, shock, shocking, consumerism, mass media, media coverage, internet culture, sale, sales, dignity, capitalism, money making, salesmen, salesman, gross, board, boardroom, meeting, meetings, execute, executed, executioner, executioners, capital punishment, jail, jailed, criminal, death row, dead, dying, die, died, death, cop, cops, officer, officers, police officer, police officers, capital punishment, death penalty
Snowman facing firing squad.
Tags:snowmen, snowman, firing squad, firing squads, execution, executions, executioner, executioners, death sentence, death sentences, snow figure, snow figures, capital punishment, capital punishments, snowball fight, snowball fights, wintertime, winter time, winter-time, winter, winters, snowball, snowballs, executioner, executioners
"What about the writers? Nobody ever blames the writers!"
Tags:jester, jesters, court jester, court jesters, royalty, royalties, comedy, comedian, comedians, stand up comedian, stand up comedians, stand-up comedian, stand-up comedians, comedy, comedies, ghost writer, ghost writers, stand up, stand-ups, speech writer, speech writers, execution, executions, executioner, executioners, condemned, pass the blame, blame, blame game, pass the buck, accuse, accused, accusation
"Your four-o'clock is here."
Tags:business, businesses, meeting, meetings, death, deaths, execution, executioner, executions, executioners, executive, executives, pun, office, offices, meet, fire, fired, firing, barbaric, corporate culture, corporate cultures, cutthroat, businessmen, businessperson, businessman, murder, killing, execute, executes
'Why don't we call ourselves chiropractors and charge people for our services?'
"His Highness is changing his relationship status."
Tags:king, kings, queen, queens, sovereign, sovereigns, ruler, rulers, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, royal, royalty, execution, executions, decapitation, decapitations, death, capital punishment, death penalty, executioner, executioners, axe, headsmen, headsman, block, blocks, history, historical, king henry the eighth, king henry viii, tudors, tudor, catherine howard, anne boleyn, relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, relationship problems, relationship issues, husband, husbands, wife, wives, changing, relationship status, relationship statuses, social media, social networking, social network, social networks, technology, modern life
"I am most disappointed in you, Herr Stuffel. I was told that you would be a much more amusing guest."
Tags:germany, german, germans, shoot, shoots, shooting, execution, executions, executioner, executioners, talk show, talk shows, talk show host, talk show hosts, talk show guest, talk show guests, gun, guns, villain, villains, villainous, guest, guests, interrogate, interrogates, interrogating, interrogation, interrogations, third reich
"Yes, we cater to a rather specialized clientele."
Tags:headsman, antique, antiques, executioner, executioners, execute, executes, executing, kill, kills, killing, killings, tortures, torturers, special interest, special interests, clientele, clienteles, cater, caters, catering, antique shop, antique shops, antiquing, antique store, antique stores, specialty, specialties, speciality, specialities
"Should I bother working out if no one knows my identity?"
Tags:executioner, executioners, execution, executions, guillotine, guillotines, public execution, public executions, mask, masks, disguise, disguises, hidden identity, secret identity, working out, get fit, getting fit, body builder, body builders, muscle, muscles, six pack, six packs, lazy, laziness, gym, gyms, gym goer, gym goers, black humour, dark humour