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"We look for people who can quickly adapt to changes in the workplace."
'Well, Mr. Bell, I must say in all my years in this industry I've never conducted an interview with someone so devoid of even a semblance of professionalism... You're hired.'
"The salary is unimportant—I'll just siphon off what I need."
Tags:businesses, money, corrupt, corruption, corporate, corporation, executive, executives, human resources, hiring, hires, recruit, recruits, hired, embezzle, embezzled, embezzling, corporate culture, elite, elites, elitism, ethic, ethical, ethics, morals, morality, criminal, criminals, human resource, human-resources, human-resource, corrupts, embezzlement
"Besides caring too much? I'd probably have to go with Kryptonite."
Tags:superhero, superheroes, hero, heros, job interview, recruit, new recruit, recruiter, recruiting, potential employee, new employee, hire, hiring, human resources, hr, career, careers, job, jobs, work, employment, employer, weakness, what is your weakness, kryptonite, job search, job hunting, weaknesses
'Vicious, intelligent and ruthless? Certainly. But I think my biggest asset is that I'm a survivor!'
"What the hell? We could use an idiot."
Tags:idiot, idiots, hiring, hire, hires, hired, new guy, new guys, diversity, workplace diversity, diversity hire, diversity hires, positive discrimination, moron, morons, unqualified, incompetent, incompetence, application, applications, interview, interviews, interviewing, job interview, job interviews, worker, workers, working, colleague, colleagues, co-worker, co-workers
'We were ready to hire you until we saw the photo of you on Facebook sliding on the ice...'
"Miss Gaines, send in someone who reminds me of myself as a lad."
"It's a fine résumé, but the best I can offer you right now is a cameo in accounting."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, boss, bosses, executive, executives, exec, execs, manager, managers, management, office, offices, office life, hiring, hr, h.r., human resources, recruiting, recruiter, recruiters, recruitment, interview, interviews, job, jobs, position, positions, candidate, candidates, applicant, applicants, prospective, employee, employees, employment, unemployment, work, resume, resumes, cv, c.v., curriculum vitae, movie, movies, film, films, studio, studios, cameo, cameos, role, roles, accounting, best, agent, agents, agency, agencies, actor, actors, acting, talent, modern life
If we hired the same way we elect...
"We're looking for accounting resumés which scream, '…Hire me! I'll playalong'."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, boss, bosses, executive, executives, exec, execs, manager, managers, management, office, offices, office life, personnel, hr, h.r., human resources, recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, applicant, applicants, candidate, candidates, cv, c.v., curriculum vitae, resume, resumes, job, jobs, hiring, accounting, accountant, accountants, playing along, cooperation, ethics, unethical, fraud, scandal, scandals, suspicious, questionable
'I like your initiative. You've got the job.'
"We're looking for people to fire."
Tags:honest, honesty, honesty is the best policy, hire, hired, hiring, hires, personnel, hr, h r, h.r., h.r, human resources, business, big business, businessman, businessmen, business man, business men, exec, execs, executive, manager, management, corporate, corporation, corporations, employment, employed, fire, fired, firing, office worker, office drone, office drones, excuse, excuses, interview, interviews, interview skills, capitalism, late stage capitalism, sardonic, sarcastic
'Students are influenced by television, video games, advertising, music, fashion, and their teachers. I'm looking to hire teachers that can reverse that order.'
"This is fine, General, but how are your typing skills?"
Tags:personnel, hr, h.r., human resources, recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, applicant, applicants, candidate, candidates, cv, c.v., curriculum vitae, resume, resumes, job, jobs, experience, hiring, military, general, generals, typing skills, qualifications, skills, career change, career changes, changing careers, new job, new jobs, new career, new careers, modern life
Tags:personnel, personnel officer, personnel officers, personnel department, door sign, door signs, hiring, recruitment, staff office, hr, human resources, anti social, anti-social, unsocial, introvert, introverts, unsociable, management, people management, business management, rival, rivals, rivalry, offices
"My leaving Wilkins & Jennings was perfectly amicable. They felt that I should be fired, and I agreed."
Tags:firing, fired, sack, sacked, sacking, unemployed, unemployed, unemployment, employ, employment, employs, employment, hiring, hired, personnel, staff, amicable, optimistic, optimism, business, businesses, office, offices, spin, spinning, positive, positive spin, spins, job, jobs, fire, recruitment, recruiting, worker, workers, quit, quitting, quits
"Do I want the job? Huh, I never thought about it like that."
Tags:job, jobs, job offer, job offers, desire, desires, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, recruit, recruits, recruiting, recruitment, lazy, laziness, position, positions, want, wants, need, needs, new perspective, new perspectives, different perspective, different perspectives, hr department, human resources, hiring, hiring officer, hiring officers
"One of my strengths as an employee is my ability to multitask."
Tags:recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, interview, interviews, interviewing, interview skills, multitask, multitasking, employment, employee, employees, employer, employers, job, jobs, career, careers, distraction, distractions, hiring manager, hiring managers, hiring, first impression, first impressions, strengths, weaknesses, selling point
"Frankly, we're at a loss, so we're looking for someone young and stupid to tell us what to do."
Tags:generations, generation, generation gap, age gap, age, ages, baby boomer, baby boomers, boomer, boomers, middle age, middle aged, young, youth, office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, failing business, millennial, millennials, college educated, university educated, fresh start, new ideas, new idea, suggestion, suggestions, hiring, hired, new hire
"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, boss, bosses, executive, executives, exec, execs, manager, managers, management, office, offices, office life, personnel, hr, h.r., human resources, recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, interview, interviews, applicant, applicants, candidate, candidates, cv, c.v., curriculum vitae, resume, resumes, job, jobs, hiring, detail, details, detailed, information, experience, experiences, student, students, teacher, teacher, school, schools, schooling, education, third grade, punishments, childhood, unnecessary, irrelevant, standing out, modern life
"You don't look like a Dave."
"At this point, I'm just happy to still have a job."
"The bunny did not get the job because the bunny is cute. The bunny got the job because the bunny knows WordPerfect."
Tags:discrimination, discriminate, discriminates, discriminating, cute, cuteness, adorable, bunny, bunnies, rabbit, rabbits, hippo, hippos, hippopotamus, writing program, writing programs, skill, skills, skilled, qualification, qualifications, job qualification, job qualifications, qualified, hiring, application, applications, job application, job applications, suspicious, suspicion, suspicions, attractive, attractiveness, computer skills, computer literacy
"Your interest in the salary makes me wonder how 'self-motivated' you really are."
Tags:hiring, new hire, new hires, recruiting, recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, human resources, hr, h.r., interview, interviews, negotiation, negotiations, salary negotiation, salary negotiations, salary, salaries, income, wage, wages, money, pay, self-motivated, motivation, motivations, motive, motives, true motive, true motives, office life, business, employee, employees, worker, workers, motivating factor, motivating factors, self-starter, self-starters, suspicious, suspiciousness