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"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."
"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS
I think that may have been one software revision and unnecessary upgrade too many for him.
"Be prepared to be hated!"
"More ruddy training. . . As if I haven't got enough to do!"
Training for Emergency Broadcast System workers
"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"
'She hasn't finished her client care course yet!'
Time to try something new.
"Hello... I will be your instructor for this assertiveness training course... that is... I mean... if you don't mind!"
"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"
"You're a lawyer? Are you here on vocation or here for the refresher course?"
'A learning experience? When are you gonna have an earning experience?'
Janitor on the Job Training.
"Work has been so stressful so full on, that I thought we needed a bit of light relief."
"I think you should hire me for my vast software knowledge. . . and then pay for me to go learn software."
"Today will be offered you training on how to cope with the redundancy I'm about to tell you about!"
Eddy passes the tax officials exam.
Keys to Success: Focus, Alertness, Concentration...
"It's 'Have a nice day,' not 'Make my day.'"
"I hope you don't mind waiting, all the staff are on a 'customer care' course."
"I'm going to have you retrained to become an ex-employee."
"Panic over Jane, I've managed to find somebody with a proper qualification to come and talk to Mr Morris."