Search by Search ID or Tag or use the Advanced Search
'What, They're comfortable.'
"I'd like to buy my husband a yarmulke of the type worn by Rudy Giuliani."
Tags:yarmulke, yarmulkes, jewish voter, jewish voters, jewish vote, giuliani, rudy giuliani, mayor, mayors, new york, new york city, candidate, candidates, presidential candidate, presidential candidates, fashion, hat, hats, fashionable, mislead, misleads, misleading, shop, shops, shopping, men's fashion, appeal, appeals, appealing, deceive, deceives, deceiving, appropriate, appropriates, appropriation, religious dress, jew, jews, jewish, demographic, demographics, campaign, campaigns, campaigning
"That's the statue of Do What Your Mother Tells You."
"Mr. Levine, may I see you a moment?"
"Hello there. I'm the bluebird of Orthodox Judaism. What do you say you get up, you put on t'fillin and you daven this morning?"
"Are you crazy? A bacon and tomato sandwich? On Yom Kippur?"
Tags:yom kippur, day of atonement, holy day, holy days, judaism, jewish, jewish holiday, jewish holidays, kosher, kashrut, food, restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, blt, b.l.t., sandwich, sandwiches, bacon and tomato sandwich, bacon and tomato sandwiches, dietary law, dietary laws, religious law, religious laws, religion, religious, jew, jews, secular jew, secular jews
The Mishegoss Stops Here
Tags:yiddish, jew, jews, jewish, judaism, religion, religions, religious, mishegoss, mischief, the buck stops here, nonsense, tomfoolery, foolery, office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, serious, strict, manager, managers, management, boss, bosses, shpasik, jtoons
"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."
The Shnorrer's Shnorrer
Jewish Deep Thinker
"I still want grandchildren.
"Open the pod bay doors, HAL - we can't wait for the shabbos goy"
Then on the Eighth Day
Tags:god, heaven, creation, creationism, creationist, creationists, the creation, genesis, book of genesis, the book of genesis, old testament, the old testament, christianity, christian, christians, judaism, jew, jews, jewish, theism, theist, theists, religions, writers block, writer's block, creative block, artists block, artist's block, creation myth, in the beginning, give up, giving up, given up, run out of ideas, running out of ideas, rest, resting, relax, relaxing, taking a break
"And remember, if you need anything I'm available 24/6."
"First of all, this conversation never happened."
Tags:jew, jews, jewish, orthodox, yarmulke, yarmulkes, christmas, holiday, holidays, holiday season, deniability, plausible deniability, vow of silence, santa, santa claus, father christmas, hanukkah, chanukah, christian, christians, goyim, goy, gentile, gentiles, swearing to silence, jealous, envy, envious, shpasik, jtoons
"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"
Tags:mezuzah, mezuzahs, religion, religious, judaism, jewish, jew, jews, torah, history, historical, ancient, pre-history, pre-historical, prehistory, prehistorical, stone age, bc, b.c., before christ, paleolithic, palaeolithic, cave-dweller, cave-dwellers, cavemen, caveman, neanderthal, neanderthals, early humans, archaeology, archaeologist, archaeologists, archeology, archeologist, archeologists, artifact, artifacts, artefact, artefacts, shpasik, jtoons
"I first felt truly Jewish when I saw Ozzie and Harriet on television."
"Don't rush me! There's a very delicate line between good kitsch and junky tchotchkes."
'I have something to tell you, Moses...'
Tags:god, moses, christianity, christian, christians, burning bush, fire, burning, bush, desert, deserts, bible, story, vision, visions, egypt, jew, jews, judaism, fireman, man, health and safety, safe, permit, open flame, greenery, bushes, forest fires, forest fire, ordinance, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
'What is this, some kind of joke?'
Tags:seder, seders, passover, passovers, passover seder, judaism, jewish, jews, jew, torah, torahs, candy, candies, chocolate, chocolates, parody, parodying, alternative, holiday, holidays, celebration, celebrates, celebrate, hebrew, feast, feasts, represent, represents, representing, symbol, symbols, symbolism, food, foods, religion, religions, home, family, families, shpasik, jtoons
"Have your people call my people."
"I forgot my wig."
"Height has nothing to do with it, Arnie. I just can't imagine myself with a man who doesn't know the broche for hors d'euvres."
"That was Elijah. He's stuck on the Garden State."