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Why College Costs So Much 101.
Going out of business...
"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."
Tags:frat house, frat houses, novel, novels, novelist, novelists, writer, writers, author, authors, typewriter, typewriters, typewriting, college, colleges, university, universities, uni, unis, degree, arts degree, arts degrees, writing project, writing projects, novella, novellas, literary aspirations
"I majored in the humanities but I never really got it."
"Daddy works in a magical, faraway land called Academia."
Tags:academia, education, research, academics, academic, educator, educators, teacher, teachers, professor, professors, tutor, tutors, doctor, doctors, doctorate, masters, bachelors, university, universities, college, colleges, uni, pretentious, snob, snobby, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, kid, kids, child, children, childhood, parent, parents, parenthood
"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."
Tags:writer, writers, writing, author, authors, book, books, novel, novels, literature, publisher, publishers, publishing, editor, editors, publishing company, publishing companies, publishing house, publishing industry, literary agent, literary agents, public, pressure, internal motivation, student, students, college, college, college student, university, universities, essay, essays, paper, papers, dating, date, dates, stress, stressful, education, higher education, academia, academics, pretentious, flattery, pompous
'My computer's hard drive crashed, so I text messaged you my term paper.'
"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."
Tags:creditor, creditors, crediting, student, students, debt, debts, student debt, student debts, graduate, graduates, graduating, graduation, student loan, student loans, loan, loans, banking, big bank, big banks, graduation ceremony, graduation ceremonies, valedictorian, valedictorians, rising cost, rising costs, tuition, tuition fee, tuition fees, fee, fees, cost, costs, college, colleges, university, universities, overpriced, degree, degrees
"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."
Tags:college, colleges, university, universities, higher education, college application, college applications, school, schools, kid, kids, child, going to school, plan ahead, planning ahead, ambitious, ambition, ambitions, pushy parent, pushy parents, ambitious parent, ambitious parents, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes
"Sorry, I had to pull you over, Professor. Do you have any idea how fast you were going?"
Tags:traffic cop, traffic cops, traffic police, police officer, police officers, policeman, policemen, ticket, speeding ticket, speeding tickets, traffic violation, professor, professors, teacher, teacher, lecturer, lecturers, teaching, student, students, going too fast, bad teacher, bad teachers, college, colleges, university, universities
'Ok then, what's the second most important thing on campus.'
Department of Archaeology Floor Plan
'If it's any consolation, our lack of business innovation will be the subject of analysis in some of the finest M.B.A. programs in the country.'
"Welcome to the I.V. league."
Tags:iv drip, iv drips, i.v. drip, i'v' drips, university, universities, top university, top universities, good university, good universities, doctor, doctors, md, mds, m.d.s, m.d., hospital, hospitals, nurse, welcome, welcomes, medical equipment, drip, drips, hospital drip, hospital drips, intravenous therapy
"It's a great school, but it wasn't my first choice."
Tags:school, schools, university, universities, college, colleges, fish, school of fish, schools of fish, first choice, first choices, alternate, choice, choices, impostor, impostors, impostor syndrome, fit in, fits in, fitting in, good school, good schools, shark, sharks, predator, predators, prey, blend, blends, blending
"What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical."
Tags:philosopher, philosophers, philosophy, philosophiser, philosophisers, philosophizer, philosophizers, philosophize, department, departments, academic, academics, academia, university, universities, uni, unis, college, colleges, theoretically, theoretical, theory, theories, philosophy department, philosophy department, turn of phrase, turns of phrase
"How much would it cost if I don't take classes but just live in a dorm with a meal plan?"
Tags:college, college education, education, educate, class, classes, dorm, dorms, college lifestyle, lifestyle, millennials, millennial, modern life, modern world, dependent, dependant, dependance, dependence, student, students, finance, finances, loan, loans, debt, in debt, meal plan, meal plans, university, universities, college student, america, american
"I was the first in my family to lie about going to college."
'Never mind the pension scheme - I'm just hoping I can pay off my student loan before I retire!'
"Room, board, books, and tuition--I draw the line at corkage fees."
Tags:education, higher education, school, schools, schooling, student, students, university, universities, college, colleges, cost, costs, expenses, expenses, money, finances, fee, fees, pay, paying, payment, payments, tuition, room, rooms, residence, residences, accommodation, dormitory, dorm, dorms, books, book, textbook, textbooks, food, eating, corkage fee, corkage fees, alcohol, alcoholic, wine, drink, drinks, drinking, drawing a line, draw the line, extras, family, families, family discussion, family discussions, kid, kids, children, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, modern parenthood, modern parenting, modern parents, raising kids, raising children, paying for college, paying for university, modern life
"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."
"… and then I made a life altering decision. I decided to leave the Wharton School of Business and become a homeless person."
Tags:beggar, beggars, begging, bum, bums, panhandler, panhandlers, panhandling, street person, street people, homeless, homelessness, living on the street, money, donation, donations, charity, business school, business schools, education, higher education, university, universities, college, colleges, life-altering decision, life-altering decisions, life-altering choice, life-altering choices, decision, decisions, choice, choices, life-changing, life-altering, dropping out, dropout, dropouts, regret, regrets
"This one here always grosses me out."