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'So, how much can you lend me?'
'What? You've never had a loan application from a small business owner before?'
'I was just passing by when I smelled money.'
'Thank you for approving my loan application. Is this a good time to speak to you about loan modification?'
'How much do you want?' - 'How much have you got?'
'I'm afraid we can't use your other outstanding loans as collateral.'
'I just need enough money to get out of debt.'
'We've agreed to approve your loan if you can promise us first dibs on your liver.'
'I do admire a small business owner with a sense of humour.'
"But If I had enough collateral to cover the amount of the loan, I wouldn't need the loan in the first place!"
'We can lend you the money for a new house, but how will you repay it?'
'Could I have a loan a cup of sugar please?'
'Loans 3.5% Great. I'll have one of those.'
"My wife is quite keen on checking the finer details before we sign anything."
"We can strike the clause that allows us to take your firstborn male child if you miss a payment. It's really just in there because people expect it to be."
Tags:loan department, loan departments, loan, loans, debt, debts, loan contract, loan contracts, borrower, borrowers, lender, lenders, loan officer, loan officers, loan applicant, loan applicants, loan application, loan applications, loan repayment, loan repayments, firstborn, firstborns, first born, first child, penalty, penalties, banker, bankers, bank, banks
Mortgage Broker - 'I can't foresee any problems with your loan, Mr Davis.'
"I wouldn't spend too long reading it - the first payment's almost due."
"This won't be easy, given your grades. You'll need to find someone even dumber than you to co-sign."
Tags:student loans, student loan, loan applicant, loan applicants, loan officers, higher education, tuition fee, tuition fees, education, post secondary education, debt, co-sign, borrowing money, loans officer, banking, bank, university, college, higher education, intelligence, scholarship, begging, support, high cost of education
"How on earth can you justify the kind of interest rates that you charge?"
"I didn't say I wanted to be alone, I said I wanted a loan!"
Those who don't learn from the past are destined to relive it.
Tags:mortgages, mortgage, bank, banks, financial history, credit check, credit checks, credit history, bank loan, bank loans, loans officer, loans officers, financial histories, spending habit, spending habits, loan officer, loan officers, borrower, borrowers, lender, lenders, loan applicant, loan applicants, loans applicant, loans applicants
'You're a bad credit risk so, yes, of course you can have some money.'
Tags:bank robber, bank robbers, bank robbery, bank robberies, thief, thieves, theft, thefts, crimes, credit rating, credit ratings, credit history, credit histories, loan, loans, loan applicant, loan applicants, irresponsible lending, credit crunch, financial crisis, banking crisis, loan officer, loan officers
'Okay, fine. . . Then could you just spread the money out on your desk so I can see what it would've looked like?'
A very private money lender
"It's always a mistake to borrow money from a friend."