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The good old days of banking: 'Ok. . . now comes the tricky part.'
'To approve your loan, I need to know your net worth and your liquidity.'
'Wow, is this what we owe?'
'Now you've signed all your assets over to the bank, I'm happy to lend you your bus fare home.'
'We are prepared to make you a loan, but first you have to prove that you really don't need it,'
With bank loans hard to secure, Nan liked to have some fun at the applicant's expense.
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"Sorry, Mom. Sorry, Pop."
Tags:mom and pop, mom and pop store, mom and pop stores, mom & pop store, mom & pop stores, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, pop, pops, dad, dads, father, fathers, loan, loans, bank loan, bank loans, loan officer, loan officers, bank, banks, banker, bankers, money problem, money problems, business loan, business loans, cruelty, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advisor, financial advisors
'Remember how we used to put stuff on layaway?'
"As part of our commitment to small business, we are willing to lend you your bus fare home."
'How do I know you'll still be around in a year?'
"No." "Nooooo". "Noooooooooo."
Tags:loan, loans, loan refusal, mortgage, mortgages, banker, bankers, banking, bank, banks, harmony, harmonise, reject, rejected, rejection, harmonising, barbershop quartet, bank loan, bank loans, singing, singer, singers, credit score, credit scores, loan company, loan companies, modern life, modern times
'What? You've never had a loan application from a small business owner before?'
'Need some money for a facelift, I presume?'
"Louie, you apply for a loan while Rocco heads in through this door and files for bankruptcy."
Tags:robber, robbers, robbery, robberies, bank, banks, banking, bank robber, bank robbers, loan, loans, bank loan, bank loans, fraud, fraudulent, fraudulence, heist, heists, bank heist, bank heists, bankruptcy, bankrupt, file, files, filing, scam, scams, scam artist, scam artists, plan, plans, planning, loan application, loan applications, conspire, conspires, conspiring, defraud
"Well, thanks anyway for sharing your financial plight with us."
Tags:banking, loans, money, bank, banks, big bank, big banks, bank loan, bank loans, loan officer, loan officers, indifferent, indifference, financial problem, financial problems, financial trouble, financial troubles, plight, plights, money trouble, money troubles, bad credit, no credit, credit problem, credit problems, low credit, low credit score, low credit scores, credit score, credit scores, mankoff
It's Time For You To Start Banking At The First National Artiste Savings & Loan.
Tags:artist, artists, artiste, artistes, starving artist, starving artists, loan, loans, bank loan, bank loans, broke, poverty, poor person, poor people, bank, banks, banking, banker, bankers, specialist, specialists, specialize, specializes, specializing, specialise, credit risk, credit risks, loan, loans, bank loan, bank loans, banking loan, banking loans, practical, practicality, needs, personal finances, personal finance
"Could you stop referring to the interest rate as 'the vig'?"
Tags:interest rate, interest rates, excessive, high interest rate, high interest rates, extortion, extortionate rate, extortionate rates, vig, vigorish, gambler, gamblers, gambling, loan, loans, bank loan, bank loans, greed, greedy, greediness, take out a loan, taking out a loan, mortgage, mortgages, mortgage lender, mortgage lenders, big bank, big banks, banker, bankers, ripoff, ripoffs, ripping off, tip your hand, tipping you hand, giveaway, giveaways, loan shark, loan sharks
'You've been approved. As collateral, we'll be holding your nuts.'
'I was just passing by when I smelled money.'
'It's a mistake to borrow money from a friend.'
"Yes, I can help you with your loan questions. I'm the loan arranger."
'I'd like one of those loans I won't have to pay back.'
"As part of the bank's form reduction policy, you wont' have to fill out any additional forms. Your loan application has not been approved."
'Your credit score is a bit low but we can still offer you a loan. Do you have a problem being fitted for an electronic ankle cuff.'
'You don't qualify for a loan or a credit card. We can, however, over you a free bank calender.'