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'So, it's taken you six months to finally finish the report on our financial crisis and your solution is: 'We need to make more money'.'
'Hardly worth blowing down.'
'I miss the disposable income days.'
'Good news. Even though you've been spending way beyond your means, the IMF is giving you a bailout. It seems you're too big to fail.'
'I hardly expected the federal tapering affect my allowance.'
Tags:quantitative easing, programme, programmes, program, programs, economic stimulus, economic stimuli, federal tapering, economic recovery, economic recoveries, ben bernanke, federal reserve, us economy, american economy, pocket money, allowance, allowances, pocket-money, kid, kids, trickle down economy, trickle-down economy, trickle-down economics, economic downturn, credit crunch, financial crisis
'So it's decided - we'll put the clocks back 5 years and everything will be fine again.'
"Nowadays, they have to share the expense of owning a castle."
'I'm not kidding Bertie, give me your lunch money.'
'The stimulus package doesn't seem to be working,'
The argument SEEMS to be that if we don't pay him a HUGE bonus then he'll leave and destroy someone elses business and then we'd have to pay even MORE in a 'competetive' market to get someone equivalently useless to replace him!
"The latest statement says that our nest egg is now at zero. I'm pretty sure it won't go below that."
Tags:nest egg, nest eggs, savings, pension pot, pensions pots, financial crisis, economic crisis, economic crash, credit crunch, stock market crash, negative equity, lost everything, lost savings, banking crisis, global economic crisis, 2009, stock market, stocks and shares, stocks, investment, investments, investing
'We realize it is an unnecessary department, but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'
Night of the Living Debt.
Pound shop - 99p Land - 98p World.
"Now we just have to sit back and wait for the Fed to bail us out."
Tags:bailout, bailouts, emergency economic stabilization act, emergency economic stabilization act of 2008, financial crisis, financial crises, monetary policy, monetary, irresponsible, responsibility, moral hazard, moral hazards, bank, banks, banker, bankers, children, child, kid, kids, federal reserve, ben bernanke, bernanke, troubled asset relief program, tarp, childish, comparison, compared, compare, 2008, credit crunch, credit crunches, rescue, rescues, rescue package, bush, george, george w bush, george bush
The bailed-out and the not
Tags:bailout, bailouts, government bailout, government bailouts, bailed out, bailed-out, banks, banks, banker, bankers, banking crisis, economic crisis, global economic crisis, credit crunch, haves and have-nots, happy, happiness, spring in your step, failed business, failed businesses, socialism for the rich, too big to fail
Since cutting their market research budget management had to find alternative ways of planning their marketing strategy.
"When times are tough we all have to make sacrifices...and you're ours."
"How is the budget forecast looking?"
'I'm afraid the Christmas party has been cancelled on cost grounds...but the good news is that the boss has said you can still come in and photocopy your bottoms!'
"I'm afraid you've maxed out your consumer confidence."
Tags:maxed out, max out, store card, store cards, credit card, credit cards, credit, customer, customers, shop, shops, store, shores, retail worker, retail workers, hop assistant, shop assistants, retail assistant, retail assistants, consumer, consumers, consumer confidence, economy, economies, economic decline, credit crunch, bad economy, recession, recessions
'This is going to be very painful. Here, bite on this stick.'
'Children, remember me saying that Santa was quite poorly? Well, I've got some very sad news...'
'I kind of miss inflation. It was a great excuse to ask for a raise.'
'But it didn't cost anything, dear! I did it all off balance-sheet!'