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"I'm an optimist. I have every confidence that global warming will be nullified by nuclear winter."
Tags:science, word play, depletion, environment, nature, optimist, optimists, optimistic, global warming, nuclear power, nuclear energy, balance out, balances out, balancing out, nullified, nullification, nuclear winter, nuclear war, nuclear wars, fallout, nuclear fallout, silver lining, silver linings, mankoff
"Super! Now, once you've rebuilt civilization I can do the investment banking."
Tags:nuke, nukes, nuclear war, nuclear wars, fallout, post-apocalypse, use, useful, utility, usefulness, investor, investment banker, investment bankers, investment banking, stock, stocks, stockbroker, stockbrokers, stocks and bonds, rebuild, rebuilds, rebuilding, useless, superfluous, skill, skills, skilled labour, skilled labor, labor, labors, laborer, laborers, labourer, labourers, manual labor, egghead, eggheads
Tunnel of Love exit.
"Yes, the planet got destroyed. But for a beautiful moment in time we created a lot of value for shareholders."
Tags:shareholder, shareholders, stock, stockmarket, stockmarkets, stock market, stock markets, stockbroker, stockbrokers, priority, priorities, profit, profits, profit motive, profit motives, armageddon, apocalypse, post-apocalyptic, post-apocalypse, environmental destruction, catastrophe, catastrophes, extinction, human extinction, extinctions, value, bottom line, bottom lines, capitalist, capitalists, capitalism, late capitalism, nuclear fallout, fallout, environmentalism, environmentalist, environmentalists, pollution, polluter, polluters, campfire, campfires, camp fire, camp fires, camp fire story, camp fire stories, scary story, scary stories, environment, corporation, corporations, corporate greed
"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."
Tags:calamity, calamities, flood, great flood, noah, noah's ark, noahs ark, old testament, torah, genesis, book of genesis, economy, economies, economic ruin, economic ruins, fallout, fallouts, market correction, market corrections, great recession, great depression, financial recession, financial depression, rebuild, rebuilds, rebuilding, reconstruction, economic ruin, economic calamity, economic calamities, economist, economists, big picture
'My grandparents built it during the cold war. Now they only use it during the cold and flu season.'
Spam - best before end of world.
"I still say we pull it and deal with the consequences of its being a false alarm when they come."
'It was a poor quarter. There's bound to be some fallout.'
"Now that all eyes are now on Las Vegas, we're not seeing the destitute of millions in Texas, Florida, and Puerto Rico."
A man cleans up the mud slung at Hillary Clinton.
Tags:trump, president trump, donald trump, president donald trump, campaigning, republican, campaigning lies, presidential candidates, presidential elections, clean up, elephant, riding on a elephant, campaigning signs, presidential winner, stinky, leftovers, campaign leftovers, mudslinging, mudslinging contest, mudslinging contests, fallout, political fallout
Wrong Kind of Mask, Joe
'We're the only creatures that can survive a nuclear holocaust, yet size 10 Reeboks scare me to death.'
Tags:cockroach, cockroaches, insect, insects, bug, bugs, pest, pests, nuclear, nuclear holocaust, holocaust, holocausts, nuclear fallout, fallout, survive, survivor, survivors, surviving, reebok, trainer, trainers, squash, squashed, squashes, squashing, crush, crushed, crushing, crushes, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
Remember when fallout was something that happened to your hair?
'There goes another victim of the recession.'
A Rubbish Bin as an Emergency Shelter
'Mom, Dad! Look what I created in lab today!'
'Kelvin underestimated the fallout the naked drinking games team building exercise would have on his future.'
Fukushima - nuclear fallout.
The divorce got pretty ugly. In the end, my mom had to pay off my dad $67 to avert a nasty custody battle.
At first, Moses was worried about the manna from heaven.
'I never drank a drop until the Enron Affair.'