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"This report to the shareholders….Which is the misinformation and which is the disinformation."
Tags:shareholder, shareholders, shareholder meeting, shareholder meetings, meeting, meetings, share, shares, investor, investors, investment, investments, stockholder, stockholders, disinformation, misinformation, business jargon, financial jargon, corporate jargon, quarterly report, quarterly reports
'I have good news and bad news. The problem is, I don't know which is which.'
"My job is in finance. This is just my hobby."
Tags:hobby, hobbies, finance, finances, artist, artists, artwork, artworks, painter, painters, painting, paintings, art project, art projects, graph, graphs, accountant, accountants, accountancy, businessmen, businessman, relaxation technique, profit, profits, quarterly report, quarterly reports, chart, charts, obsession, obsessions, workaholic, workaholics, work addict, work addicts
'Unfortunately, this here is the intellectual property he took with him when he left.'
"The chart, of course, is nonrepresentational."
Tags:business chart, business charts, business graph, business graphs, accountant, accountants, accountancy, boardroom, boardrooms, exec, execs, executive, executives, profit, profits, profit chart, profit charts, quarterly report, quarterly reports, deception, deceptions, presentation, presentations, dishonesty
"It was an amazing half hour."
'Very impressive Randall! We'd still like to see the financial report.'
Tags:report, financial report, financial reports, quarterly reports, accountant, accountancy, yearly report, finance, financial, business, meeting, business meeting, fire, entertainer, entertainers, distraction, distracting, circus, circuses, circus trick, circus tricks, distractions, stall, stalls, stalling, cover-up, coverup, coverups, cover-ups, covering up, stall, stalls, stalling, stall for time
'Last quarter's sales figures were disappointing but don't be discouraged. Let's double our efforts and remember that it takes both sunshine and rain to make a rainbow.'
'I've analyzed, condensed and simplified the data...it was a good quarter.'
'And right here they merged...'
"It's a gazillion. If you don't believe us, just count the commas."
"Let's just issue last year's annual report and see if anyone notices."
"Well, we're waiting. See any patterns emerging?"
Tags:data analysis, data, analysis, analytics, businessmen, businessman, boardroom, boardrooms, board, boards, exec, execs, executive, executives, pattern, patterns, emerging pattern, emerging patterns, data analyst, data analysts, business meeting, business meetings, quarterly report, quarterly reports, profit, profits, graph, graphs, chart, charts, performance, review, reviews, sales report, sales reports, profit report, profit reports
"We won't be mailing out our quarterly report. Our profits were obscene and postal regulations prohibit mailing obscene material."
Financial chart with frowny and smiley faces.
'Figures can be misleading - So I've written a song which I think expresses the real story of the firms performance this quarter.'
"I'll begin today's proceedings by saying that we have enough food and water to last us until some sort of eventual turnaround."
Tags:boardroom, boardrooms, board, boards, exec, execs, executive, executives, executive culture, saferoom, saferooms, safe room, safe rooms, economic downturn, economic downturns, recession, recessions, financial downturn, financial downturns, quarterly report, quarterly reports, survival, survivals
'Oh, oh, the quarterly report doesn't look good.'
"We should do this more often. What if we broke the quarters down into eighths?"
Tags:office, offices, corporate, corporation, corporations, corporate meeting, corporate meetings, quarterly report, quarterly reports, enjoy, enjoying, enjoyed, taking lightly, take lightly, meeting, meetings, relax, relaxed, profit, business, smooth sailing ship, quarters, report, reports, data analysis, data analyses, analyst, analysts, analyses, analysis, business analyst, business analysts, lazy, lethargic, loss
"It's true, Caesar. Rome is declining, but I expect it to pick up in the next quarter."
'Brilliant! A 3-D, holographic, pop-up annual report. Hopefully, no one will notice what a lousy year we had.'
'All our money is tied up in profits.'
'Here's the improved margins you said you wanted to see this year, Tom.'
"All right, Thompson. The board concedes that this quarter's economic growth does look very much like a kitty.
Tags:quarterly report, quarterly reports, finances, financial growth, business growth, graph, graphs, business meeting, business meetings, meeting, meetings, presentation, presentations, work, presentation, work presentations, cat, cats, cat lover, cat lovers, cat owner, cat owners, kitty, kitties, cat person, cat people
'Please bring in a copy of the company report... rolled up.'