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"Look sharp, Son. Your Mother's family just showed up."
A priest plays a Mock Christ video game.
'Caesar, your Imperial Majesty, I'm afraid we cannot get the lions to eat these Creationists. It seems the beasts prefer their meat properly aged.'
'You won't take my case? Then I'm going to sue you!'
'I think I've discovered why you have this sense of persecution, Mr. Bisson.'
"I go out of my way to befriend people your church would have killed 300 years ago."