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"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."
The government is to adopt rigorous new procedures to deal with any examples of GPs offending
The crackdown on slapstick continues.
"No, Tracey! The crackdown is on airbrushing not hair brushing!"
'I think I'll get an early night - I've got metal theft fatigue.'
"I'm afraid we're going to have to change the benefit you're cheating on."
The ground cracking beneath a banker's feet because his bonus is so big and heavy.
"Lucky for you mate, we're on a drugs bust,"
Policeman in festive stab-proof vest.