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'No, Mr Robertson, there are no plans to introduce a sleep-over club. What you want is known as a boarding school.'
"Bye bye, sweetie. Daddy and I will pick you up when you're eighteen."
'Ooh look - Timmy has sent his first letter from boarding school.'
"Guess who got into Hotchkiss!"
"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."
'Charlotte says the sink estate look is, like, de rigueur at finishing school this term.'
'Son, I've arranged for you to go to a private school where you'll have a wonderful time!'
"My parents told me it was boarding school."
'Speedy Boarding' is a ?2000.00 supplement for boarders allowing your boy to start term 1 hour early and feel superior.'
It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.
'Hey! Our mum's are here to pick us up.'
"I could have gone to Eton but I never had the Sat Nav."
Father sees son blowing raspberry in wing mirror
Miniature Village Minor Public School
'Sorry, Blenkinsop Major, I could only get Gold Tip.'