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The Tennis Racket in the Stone
Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.
Tags:knight, knights, medieval knights, medieval knight, excalibur, king arthur, king arthurs sword, legendary sword, sword in the stone, sword, swords, arthurian romance, romance, mediavel literature, claw machine, claw crane, toy crane, skill crane, grabby machine, impossible tasks, impossible quest, impossible quests
"I'm going to need to speak to someone from either personnel or maintenance."
"Did you enter the correct password?"
Tags:password, passwords, correct, correct password, correct passwords, incorrect password, incorrect passwords, king arthur, king, kingdom, rule, sword, swords, boulder, boulders, technology, trouble, troubles, difficulty, difficulties, problem, problems, inaccessible, undecipherable, decipher, puzzle, puzzles, puzzled, wifi, wireless internet, access, internet, sword in the stone
Lady of the Remote
Tags:tv remote, tv remotes, television remote, television remotes, remote, remotes, remote control, remote controls, remote controller, remote controllers, clicker, clickers, excalibur, sword in the stone, lady of the lake, king arthur, merlin, legend of king arthur, camelot, english mythology, ancient history, lost remote, lost remotes, modern life, modern times, modern technology, modern technologies, modern attitudes, tv, tvs, television, televisions
"But now it won't stay in mint condition."
'Whomever pulls the sword from the stone will lead this project.'
"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"
Tags:snack, snacks, snack food, snack foods, moreish, more-ish, scarf, scarfing, scarfs, cookie, cookies, biscuit, biscuits, amaretto, chocolate, chocoholic, chocoholics, sword in the stone, king arthur, merlin, overeat, overeats, overeating, eat, eats, eating, double chocolate, binge, binge eating, binge eat, king of england, prophecy, prophecies
'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'
'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'
King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.
Whosoever draweth out the publishing, recording, and distribution contracts from the stone shall forever be acknowledged as the Duke of Earl, and nothing can stop him.
Tags:duke of earl, royalty, royal, royal family, royal families, excalibur, king arthur, sword in the stone, myth, myths, mythology, merlin, king arthur, arthurian, contracts, contract, contract law, contract laws, publishing contract, publishing contracts, recording contract, recording contracts, distribution contract, distribution contracts, solicitor, solicitors, attorney, attorneys, lawyer, lawyers, barrister, barristers, counsel, counselor, legal counsel
'I guess business experience counts for more than we thought'
Knight ponders on how to remove sword from the stone. Peasant onlooker says: 'You wanna get some WD-40 on that, mate.'
Spoon in the Soup/Sword in the Lake
"But wait, there's more."
The Sword in the Stone, 2020
Tags:2020, spring 2020, summer 2020, sword in the stone, sword, swords, excalibur, king arthur, arthurian legend, arthurian legends, arthurian romance, medieval literature, hand sanitiser, hand sanitisers, sanitiser, hand hygiene, covid-19, covid 19, corona, coronavirus, novel coronavirus, corona virus, novel corona virus, pandemic, pandemics, coronavirus pandemic, covid-19 pandemic, covid 19 pandemic, public health crisis, global health crisis
'The small sword? That's for internships.'
Tags:business executives, business exec, business execs, business executives, excalibur, swords, sword in the stone, small swords, internships, proving one self, take your chances, job market, getting a job, office, offices, king arthur, arthurian myth, arthurian myths, internship, apprenticeship, apprenticeships
How Arthur really became king.
"Some people think it's as valid as testing our teachers."
"He that can remove the sword shall be king, eh? Heh, heh - Guess we're looking at the future King Bertie."
"...before we hire you for this position, Frank, we'd like you to perform one more task."
"Well, technically, he's supposed to draw the sword from the stone....but I'm not going to argue the point."
Tags:sword in the stone, arthur, king arthur, camelot, guinevere, mythology, mythology of england, british myth, british myths, sword, swords, stone, stones, excalibur, caledfwlch, once and future king, king, kings, queen, queens, castle, castles, tintagel, tintagel castle, fantasy, fantasy story, fantasy stories, fairy tale, fairy tales
It's a little-known fact that young Arthur's first career goal was to become the official motivational speaker for all of England, but he failed miserably in the attempt.