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'Would YOU polish your shoes to such a high shine if you were planning suicide, Inspector?'
'Do you promise to tell the truth, the half truth or no truth at all.....?
'The BBC's evidence will feature lots of repeats and trailers for forthcoming radio and tv programmes.'
'Your BBC. Where the truth is sometimes stranger than fiction.'
'Sorry - there's no one available. Since the enquiry started they've all been in a complete spin...'