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"Is this necessary, Your Honor? I'm an expert."
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court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, judge, judges, witness, witnesses, expert witness, expert witnesses, swearing in, swear in, expert, experts, banker, bankers, dishonest, dishonesty, honest, honesty'I see you got a 74 in your chemistry final, and still you call yourself an expert witness.'
'Well, I've never called an expert witness on expert witnesses before...'
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judge, judges, court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, court room, court rooms, trial, trials, jury, juries, witness, witnesses, defendent, defendents, defendant, defendants, expert witness, expert witnesses'Doctor, in your expert medical opinion, is this lump in my armpit anything to be concerned about?'
'Your Honor, this does not automatically make him a corn expert.'
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judges, judge, law, laws, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, court, courts, trial, trials, courtroom, courtrooms, crime, crimes, criminal, criminals, criminal trial, criminal trials, witness, witnesses, witness box, expert witness, expert witnesses, corn, corns'Your Honour, I call Nigel from the Pub ... expert witness on whatever you like.'
"It is my considered opinion that drowning occurred due to a faulty room humidifier."
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courtroom, court room, trial, trials, witness, witnesses, expert witness, expert witnesses, defense attorney, attorney, lawyer, lawyers, barrister, barristers, bribe, bribes, bribery, expert opinion, lie, lies, lying, lying under oath, false, false statement, false statements, perjury, perjure, perjures, perjurer, drown, drowning, drowns, humidifier, humidifiers"Seriously? You refuse to answer based on the fifteenth amendment?"
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plead the 5th, pleads the 5th, plead the fifth, pleads the fifth, pleading the fifth, witness, witnesses, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, witnessing, expert witness, expert witnesses, refuse to answer, refusing to answer, mix-up, mix-ups, mixing up, ignorant, ignorance, constitution, us constitution, amendment, amendments"No, no, I like you. I only meant that we have to make you liable to the jury."
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jury, juries, witness, witnesses, witness testimony, witness testimonies, witness stand, witness stands, monster, monsters, expert witness, expert witnesses, court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, lawyer, lawyers, intimidating, intimidation, intimidate, intimidated, likeable, likable, likeability, likability, dragon, dragons"And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to call to the stand an unequaled expert witness of exceptional excellence. Put your hands together. Give it up..."
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law, court of law, lawyers, attorneys, legal system, justice system, show biz, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, star witness, star witnesses, witness, witnesses, lawyer, attorney, justice, judge, witness stand, witness stands, expert witness, expert witnesses, legal profession, announcing, show business"What qualifies you to be a ballistics expert?"
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court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, dock, in the dock, judge, judges, defence, denfence attorney, prosecution, prosecution attorney, ballistics, ballistics expert, ballistics experts, expert witness, expert witnesses, bullet, bullets, bullet shaped head, weird shaped head, qualification, qualifications, visual pun, visual puns"I can help you find the lord for $500 an hour."
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religion, religious, finding god, finding jesus, door-to-door, jehovah's witness, jehovah's witnesses, witness, witnesses, expert witness, expert witnesses, court, courts, trial, trials, law, legal, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, fee, fees, bill, bills, money, finances, expense, expenses, wordplay, word play"This morning you're the expert witness in a sore throat case, and tomorrow you're the expert witness in a paper-cut case."
'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'
"And, sir, in your expert, professional opinion, was the victim already deceased when the defendant arrived at the scene?"
'I didn't hire a lawyer, but I found a neuroscientist who can explain why it wasn't my fault.'
Expert witness in attention-deficit case: 'Sure I'm familiar with...look at this....'
"You're nicked, mate!"
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law, courts, expert witness, expert witnesses, stand, stands, lawyer, lawyers, barrister, barristers, court, judge, judges, justice, judicial, trial, crime, criminal trial, criminal justice, prosecution, defence, procedure, precedent, crown court, experts, evidence, police, officer, policeman, injustice, legal system, justice system, judiciary system"I pledge allegiance to the flag...oh sorry, to honour and obey...on no that's not it..I name this ship.."
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pledge, oath, court, courts, law court, law courts, oaths, swear, witness, witnesses, defendant, defendants, prosecution, prosecutor, prosecutors, expert, experts, expert witness, expert witnesses"In your own words, describe to the court. . . what you witnessed - and when and where you witnessed it, Mister Jehovah."