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To be more convincing when he faked a sick day, Bill liked to actually feel lousy.
"They gave me the same number as my Swiss bank account."
Tags:prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, prison cell, prison cells, cell mate, cell mates, con, cons, convict, convicts, prisoner number, prisoner numbers, tax evasion, tax evader, tax evaders, swiss bank account, offshore banking, fraud, frauds, embezzlement, white collar crime, white collar crimes, white collar criminal, white collar criminals
'Honestly, I think I may have cleaned it a little too well.'
Tags:michelangelo, sistine chapel, adam, god, chapels, religious art, rome, artist, artists, famous artwork, famous artworks, biblical painting, biblical paintings, cleaner, cleaners, cleaning, bill, bills, paint by numbers, fraud, frauds, renaissance, painter, painters, painting, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
"Oh hell! I'm just a fraud with a five day fraudcast!"
"If the limited partners knew how we did this, they'd never give us the money."
Tags:limited partners, limited partnership, limited partner, lp, company, partners, investor, investors, money, job, jobs, company structure, company structures, silent partner, silent partners, silent investor, silent investors, fraud, fraudulent, frauds, take the mickey out of, fraudulent company, fraudulent organisation, fraudulent organisations, fraudulent companies, immoral, unethical, unprofessional, lying, lie, lies, liars, deceive, deceiving, cheat, cheaters
"I'll only be a second. I've done this four times today."
"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"
Tags:yoga, yoga class, yoga classes, yoga mat, yoga mats, exercise, exercising, exercises, exercise class, exercise classes, skipping class, liar, liars, dishonest, dishonesty, keeping up appearance, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, health fad, health fads, found out, caught red handed, fake, fakes, fraud, frauds
First Date: 'Using a ten year old photo on your dating profile is one thing, using a ten year old photo of a male model is quite another!'
"Oohh, we have a chunk of the Berlin wall too but we don't have the certificate of authenticity."
Tags:conductor, conductors, orchestra, orchestras, music, musician, musicians, music, fake, fakes, faker, fake it, fakes it, faking it, musician, musicians, musical, read music, reads music, reading music, music stand, music stands, fraud, frauds, impostor, impostors, impostor syndrome, unprepared, failing to prepare, preparation, preparations, preparing
"And how does that make you feel about your father?"
Tags:chiropractor, chiropractors, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychologist, psychologists, psychiropractor, hybrid, hybrids, combination, combinations, combined, father, fathers, parent, parents, feeling, feelings, personal question, personal questions, chiropractics, fraud, frauds, fraudulent, fraudulence, daddy issues, muscle, muscles, muscle pain
'Yes, I received your resume that you emailed. I ran a fact check and I was wondering if you know that a half truth is a whole lie.'
"I never should have tried to take my accounting to the next level."
"All I did was shift one lousy decimal point."
'Don't be discouraged. Do it over. Monitor the results for three months. Then, to be sure, do it again for another three months. Record your findings. Write your paper.'
"I just realized everyone I know is fake."
'Since you stole my identity I thought I'd bring you the rest of the package.'
'Hold on, Peterson, let me just run this by legal.'
"And do you feel that you are a pretender?"
Tags:pretender, pretenders, claimant, claimants, pretender to the throne, royal, royals, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, monarchies, crown prince, heir, heirs, king, kings, therapist, therapists, therapy, shrink, shrinks, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, psychologist, psychologists, psychology, insecure, insecurity, insecurities, self esteem, fraud, frauds, con, cons, self-esteem
"Let's just issue last year's annual report and see if anyone notices."
The Royal Touch, Believed to Be a Cure for Scrofula, Pox and Excessive Cholesterol
Tags:faith healer, faith healers, faith healing, royal, royals, royalty, royal touch, charlatan, charlatans, fraud, frauds, fraudulence, fraudulent, cure, cures, cholesterol, scrofula, pox, disease, diseases, illness, illnesses, ill, sick, sickness, sicknesses, fried food, fried foods, unhealthy, medicine, primitive medicine, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, healthy lifestyle, healthy lifestyles
'How much will you get if the building you're working on burns down tonight?... Five to ten years.'
'I see that you have two sisters and you like the Beatles. I predict that you will graduate in 2012...'