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"Don't think of me as your stepdad – think of me as the guy having sex with your mom."
"Ted Burton! How are you? How's my ex-wife? My kids? My dog?"
'Happy Father's Day....send all.'
Father's Day Cards for Your New Stepdad
'Hi! New daddy!'
"...I think he makes a great father figure eight."
'Okay, my stepfather, but do I need to honour my dad's 3rd wife? They were only married 90 days.'
"I'll clean my room when I want. I don't have to listen to you. You're just my step ladder."
"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."
"Don't think of me as your boss, Johnson. Think of me as your evil stepfather."