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"And as the campaign heats up, the latest poll shows the Dan Rather news team running slightly ahead of the Peter Jennings news team, with Tom Brokaw team just two points back and gaining."
'You're beat. Maybe you need to wake up to a better morning news team.'
"Thanks, Bruce, for that featherhead item. Now it's back to Ed, with a story that will scare the pants off everyone."
Tags:bad news, ratings, ratings-driven media, news, news story, news stories, newscaster, newscasters, frighten, frightens, frightening, scare, scares, scaring, freak out, freaks out, freaking out, tv ratings, news ratings, journalist, journalists, journalism, television journalist, television journalists, television journalism, segue, segues, seguing, transition, transitions, transitioning, fluff piece, fluff pieces
"This ought to bring in the young demographic!"
Tags:awards show, awards shows, awards ceremony, awards ceremonies, awards show, awards shows, sex appeal, film award, film awards, movie award, movie awards, trophy, trophies, statue, statues, demographic, demographics, key demographic, key demographics, ratings, tv ratings, television ratings, telecast, telecasts
"Never mind the inaccuracies. He LOVES these corona briefings. He gets higher TV ratings than he ever got on 'The Apprentice.'"
Tags:trump, donald trump, president donald trump, president trump, trump press briefing, trump press briefings, press briefing, press briefings, corona briefing, corona briefings, tv, tv rating, tv ratings, corona misinformation, corona mishandling, misinformation, covid-19, corona, coronavirus, novel coronavirus, corona virus, novel corona virus, pandemic
"The following program is rated P, for 'poop.' "
Tags:tv rating, tv ratings, film rating, film ratings, movie rating, movie ratings, movie certificate, movie certificates, film certificate, film certificates, film review, film reviews, movie review, movie reviews, review, reviews, critic, critics, tv show, tv shows, tv program, tv programs, couch potato, couch potatoes, couch-potato, couch-potatoes, tv fan, tv fans
"We sure appreciate your doing all you can to make the weather interesting, Herb!"
Tags:weather report, weather reports, entertain, entertains, entertaining, entertainment, infotainment, educational, educate, educates, educating, audience, audiences, ratings, ratings driven, newscast, newscasts, news report, news reports, local news, meteorologist, meteorologists, meteorology, interest, interests, interesting, tv ratings, work overtime, works overtime, working overtime, hard worker, hard workers, hard work
"...And what if another 14 year old with a camera-phone gets more viewers tomorrow night, too?"
Tags:television network, television networks, camera phone, camera phones, tv network, tv networks, social network, social networks, social networking, television rating, television ratings, tv rating, tv ratings, internet, website, websites, web, vlogger, vloggers, vlogging, influencer, influencers, teen influencer, teen influencers
"Fake news is down 3, alternative facts down 2, political satire up 20."
'Which opinion molder gets my top approval rating? I guess it's Jimmy Fallon - the new king of late night comedy.'
'They hired a chimp to read the news! The ratings war must really be heating up.'
"The following program has been judged likely to erode the national will."
Tags:national will, program, programs, tv show, tv shows, television show, television shows, tv program, tv programs, television program, television programs, erode, patriot, patriots, patriotism, subliminal message, subliminal messages, mind control, tv rating, tv ratings, television rating, television ratings, news show, news shows, news program, news programs, bad influence, propaganda, patriot, patriotism, bias, biased, liberal bias, liberal biases
Sorry You Have Temporarily Lost Your Audience
Tags:notice, notice sign, notice signs, tv, tv ratings, ratings crisis, ratings crisis, lost audience, lost audiences, audience, audiences, get lost, gets lost, getting lost, rating, ratings, viewer, viewers, viewing, viewings, potty break, potty breaks, bathroom, bathrooms, bathroom break, bathroom breaks, toilet, toilet break, toilet breaks, back in five minutes, sign, signs, signage
"There are no 'R' ratings or 'X' ratings because all of it - the violence, the sex, the psychos - all of it is for us kids."
Tags:tv rating, tv ratings, television rating, television ratings, watershed, watersheds, tv violence, television violence, child friendly, child-friendly, child-friendliness, child friendliness, tv show, tv shows, television show, television shows, tv program, tv programs, television program, television programs, social problem, social problems
"I think the best part was when we decided not to record it."
'This one is for helping win the TV ratings war with my expert commentary.'
'The following program isn't really recommended for anybody, but hey — ratings are ratings!'
'I'm getting awfully tired of reality T.V.'
"Where are people going to get their misinformation?"
"The viewers seem to be sated with stupid shows, senseless movies and embarrassing celebs. That's why our black screen has got the best viewing figures!"
Tags:tv show, tv shows, television show, television shows, black screen, black screens, blank screen, blank screens, television program, television programs, tv program, tv programs, viewing figure, viewing figures, ratings, tv ratings, television ratings, quality, couch potato, couch potatoes, tv channel, tv channels, television channel, television channel
"Now, get out there and feed the zombies...I mean, deliver the news."
'Let's watch this...it's intended for mature audiences only.'
'The Donald Trump Side Show'
"As a young man growing up in today's complicated world, I think it's important for me to stay in touch with world events."