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"This one is for teaching General Farkas how to use Snapchat."
Tags:social media, social medias, social network, social networks, social networking, general, generals, military officer, military officers, military medal, military medals, medal, medals, achievement, soldier, soldiers, army, armies, armed forces, proud, pride, achievements, computer skill, computer skills, technical skill, technical skills
"That one is for learning the lesson of Afghanistan."
Tags:afghanistan, lesson, lessons, learn a lesson, learns a lesson, leaning a lesson, war, wars, war of choice, wars of choice, neocon, neocons, neoconservative, military medal, military medals, decorated veteran, decorated veterans, military decoration, military decorations, pull-out, pulls out, pulling out, leave, leaves, leaving, de-escalate, de-escalates, de-escalation, bush, george bush, george w. bush
"And this one's for entering an animal facility under siege."
Tags:medal, medals, scientist, scientists, animal test, animal testing, animal tests, siege, sieges, military medal, military medals, animal facility, animal facilities, siege warfare, award, awards, recognition, lab, labs, laboratory, laboratories, science awards, animal rights, animal activist, animal activists, animal experiment, animal experiments
"And I got this one for calling the President 'Sir', sarcastically."
"I'm out of space – can you pin it on Pinterest?"
"That one is for going AWOL but coming right back."
Tags:awol, officer, officers, military medal, military medals, army medal, army medals, armed forces, medal, medals, army officer, army officers, record, records, military record, military records, desertion, desertions, pickup, pickups, pick-up, pick-ups, chat up, chat-up, chat-ups, chatup, line, lines, flirtation, flirtations
"After I received this medal, I got drunk and got this tattoo. After I earned this medal, I got drunk and got this tattoo. After I won this medal..."
"Actually, I only use this when I wear the jacket."
'And this one's for humor in the line of duty.'
'After the last round of budget cuts the military gave us these QR code patches. You'll have to scan it with your smartphone to see my uniform decorations.'
Tags:qr code, qr codes, budget cut, budget cuts, defence cuts, defence budget, defence budgets, uniform, uniforms, decorated officer, decorated officers, cost cutting, cost cut, economize, economizes, downsizing, army, armed forces, soldier, soldiers, military medal, military medals, medal, medals, dress uniform, dress uniforms
Military General with numerals medals and uniform decorations with 'cont. on back' sign.
"...and this one is for the Spritzer Beer account."
"To keep up with the times, I've had them redone as emojis."
'I'll have the hero sandwich.'
'This one is for helping win the TV ratings war with my expert commentary.'
'This one is for emphasizing everyone's right to exist, in my TV commentary.'
"The tiny one? Oh, that's for diplomacy."
"I got these in the cultural wars."
'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'
'Drat - I don't have any more room to enhance my self-esteem.'
'The very small blank one says: 'Watch this space'...'
'....and that one is a button for my coat.'
"...And I got this one for running around in a stupid uniform with useless medals on it."
"Really, Dear...I hate it when you do this shopping list thing!"
'She must be the general...the one with the most bling on her chest.'