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"The robbery and car chase are better in the movie but the hostage situation was definitely better on the cable news coverage."
Tags:television, televisions, watching television, tv, tvs, watching tv, t.v., t.v.s, watching t.v., cable news, cable news coverage, coverage, news coverage, news, news channel, evening news, film, films, movie, movies, based on a true story, action movie, action movies, action film, action films, scene, scenes, movie scene, movie scenes, film scene, film scenes, car chase, car chases, robbery, robberies, hostage, hostages, hostage situation, hostage situations, crime, crimes, violent, violence, dramatic, realistic, real life, real-life, fiction, reality, dramatisation, dramatisations, dramatization, dramatizations, violent tv, tv violence, violent t.v., t.v. violence, television violence, violent television, desensitised, desensitized, better, entertainment, modern life
'Hey, that line's moving a lot faster!'
"Oh, he's pretty depressed - he's the only retired general the networks haven't called."
Tags:military, networks, television, retired general, retired generals, cable news, cable news channel, cable news channels, expert, experts, expertise, self-esteem, self-esteem issue, low self-esteem, depressed, media obsession, media obsessions, commentary, commentator, commentators, pundit, pundits, cable news cycle, cable news cycles, mankoff
The All-Crisis Network
The Art of Bantering!
Tags:flier, fliers, advertisement, advertisements, journalist, journalists, journalism, newscaster, newscasters, reporter, reporters, television, tv, telly, t.v., on air talent, weather reporter, weatherman, weathermen, banter, bantering, conversation, conversations, training, training seminar, seminars, small talk, making small talk, tv journalism, tv journalist, television journalism, television journalist, news cycle, 24 hour news cycle, cable news, cable news host, cable news hosts, improv, improvisation, interviews, interviewer, interview, infotainment
"Cable news. Where journalism goes to die!"
Tags:cable news, tv news, television news, speculate, speculates, speculation, speculations, guess, guesses, guessing, analysis, analyze, analyzes, analyzing, analysing, analyse, analyses, ongoing story, ongoing stories, reporting, reporter, reporters, report, reports, journalism, journalist, journalists
Tags:wages of sin, cable news, cable news channel, cable news channels, rebuttal, rebuttals, bias, biased, biases, left-wing bias, left wing bias, right-wing bias, right wing bias, left wing, right wing, left-wing, right-wing, balance, fair time, balanced, perspective, perspectives, weather forecast, weather forecasts
"I'm literally starving."
"You're right - I'm not listening to you - I'm reading the crawl on the bottom of your screen."
Tags:married, married couple, married couples, marriage, ignoring, tuning out, not listening, not paying attention, drowning out, squabble, squabbles, lovers' quarrel, lovers' quarrels, spat, spats, nag, nags, nagging, harridan, lazy, laziness, complaint, complaints, television, televisions, cable news, cable tv, tv screen, tv screens, the crawl, chyron, chyrons
'Do you want to watch the, 'everything's terrible' cable news or the 'everything's wonderful' cable news?'
"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."
Tags:food, snacks, snack food, snack foods, prep, prepping, doomsday, doomsday prepping, doomsday prepper, survival, survivalist, survivalists, news, news coverage, stock up, stocking up, tv, t.v., television, televisions, watching television, binge watching, binge watchers, 24hour news cycle, 24hour news, cable news, cable news network, cable news networks, couch potato, couch potatoes, grocery, groceries, war, wars, war coverage, war news coverage
'Newspaper? Cable News? Actually, I keep abreast of current events by watching late-night tv comics!'
"We've tried all the news channels - this guy is unbreakable."
Tags:news channel, news channels, 24 hour news cycle, news cycle, news cycles, cable news, tv news, tortures, interrogate, interrogates, interrogating, interrogation, interrogations, unbreakable, enhanced interrogation, enhanced interrogation program, crack, cracks, cracking, kidnapper, kidnappers, kidnapping, question, questions, questioning, terrorists, guantanamo, gitmo, unwatchable, bore, bores, boring, mainstream media, msm
The Evening News
Tags:evening news, local news, news story, news stories, bad news, bad news story, bad news stories, depressing, depression, tv news, news cycle, news cycles, news anchor, news anchors, cycle, cycles, roller coaster of emotions, drama, comedy, human interest story, human interest stories, balance, balance out, balances out, balancing out, yin and yang, television news, cable news
"I've just listened to all the political news. I think I'm going to go back to sleep.
"Good evening. I'm your news anchor-bot."
The Ekert Saga: 'Our only hope to stop the Ekert's scourge of niceness, Gentlemen, is to find the anti-Ekert...He'd be one whose soulless, uncaring egocentricity is so impenetrable that he's immune to the Ekert's spiritual power.'
'My brain just pulled a hamstring.'
The Ekert Saga: 'Whoa...you really like cable news, eh, Ekert?'
"Do you want to watch the, 'everything's terrible' cable news or the, 'everything's wonderful' cable news?"
"And this will allow people the freedom to express themselves through the talking points of their choosing."
Tags:first amendment, freedom of speech, found father, freedom of expression, political pundit, political pundits, free speech, constitution, american constitution, constitutional rights, founding fathers, independence, colonial, constitution, expression, talking points, politics, cable news, pundits
"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."
"Scary, isn't it? The scariest thing is that I won't go away after Halloween. I'll be back tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and..."
Tags:halloween, clown, clowns, scary clown, scary clowns, fear of clowns, coulrophobia, tv news, scary news, bad news, news media, 24 hour news cycle, 24 hour news cycles, fear, fears, trick-or-treat, trick or treat, trick-or-treater, trick-or-treaters, trick or treater, trick or treaters, television news, cable news
"Where are people going to get their misinformation?"
'Coming up: papers, pins and stones ... and the rest of the rolling news.'