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"I think you can really picture yourself struggling to make payments here."
I'm afraid your loan will be stuck in underwriting until you've each had a full panic attack.'
'Having the money tree has really helped out.'
'How high can the adjustable interest rate go? Well, now, we don't want to get bogged down in a lot of technicalities, do we?'
Elderly couple sits in living room with wall sign that states: God Bless our Reverse Mortgage.
"Oh, our mortgage is okay -- We'd like to refinance our marriage."
Coping with the Underwater Mortgage
"I want a reverse mortgage. Take me back to when I didn't have one."
'Interest on home loans is down.'
'I suppose a loan to send them to summer camp could be called a home improvement loan.'
'Loans, I need some security, more than a boy scout salute '
'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'
Delinquent Home Owners
"Breast implants, filler and botox for your missus doesn't fulfill our home improvements criteria."