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'Actually I think you'll find it's really more like this.'
'We agreed that your contract was too complicated so we redrafted it to cover your new responsibilities.'
'Freedom means you get to swim out there without expecting a nanny state to come running everytime you see a shark or two...ok...five, six...whatever...'
A 21st Century Oliver Twist
'I think you misunderstood us...when we said 'no cuts in the NHS' we clearly meant 'catastrophic cuts and savage staff reductions.'
PM Says Competition Will Boost Standards.
'No it is not a ruddy male support undergarment try again.'
Hewitt says NHS has had best year ever.
'The NHS believes in a carrot and stick approach to motivation...'
The devolution of the NHS
DOH to encourage PCTs to set up walk-in centres.
Consistency is the Key to Rationing Resources.
Gps working against the odds
'...as you appear to be in the process of passing away could I take a moment to make you aware of a special offer on coffins.'
New claims that GPs health damaged by government bureaucracy.
MP's confusion over GPs
'Your GP recommended Lovaza...but I thought we'd try a dose of meaningless platitudes followed by a course of unfulfilled promises.'
Privatisation of the NHS
The level playing field
'They should lose their tax exempt status! Churches have no rights to be involved in politics!'