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'I'm not sure if it's the programs or the commercials, but one is supposed to be a lot worse than the other.'
"Why can't David Blaine just stick himself somewhere and not involve he rest of us?"
The pop-culture critic's annual existential crisis."
"Dad? Where did you go? I just asked you to explain that episode of Dr Who."
"Something is very wrong here. This is my favorite show, and I used to hate it."
'I can't hear a word with all that background music.' 'It's because it's a ballet.'
"What a terrible night on telly, I didn't find one thing offensive."
"Do you remember when the picture wasn't broadcasting properly last week? Viewers and critics are saying that was the most entertaining program we have broadcast in years."
'At the moment he's watching the programme all the critics' agree is an insult to human intelligence...'
'Honey, of course I don't have a clue about anything. I'm a critic!'
"I'm not sure what to watch...'Enterprise' or 'Sabado Gigante.'"
"Bad news - the critics are calling it a smart comedy."
"The only thing good on TV is my drink."
New TV Season...Dopey man watching new TV shows
"Well, that really plumbed new depths…let's watch it again on their 'plus-one' channel."