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'Well, the GOOD news is that the new software analysed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have genuine interest in the product...His name is Nigel and he lives with his mother in Barnsley.'
Tags:computer, computers, pc, pcs, modern technology, modern technologies, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, binary, binary code, computer program, computer programs, computer programmer, computer programmers, computer science, computer scientist, computer scientists, binary computer program code, screen addict, screen addicts, screen addiction, computer addict, computer addicts, computer addiction, code, coding, computer code, computer coding, obsessed, obsessive, obsessives, obsessiveness, workaholic, workaholism, noughts and ones
'The boss wants me to create a computer algorithm that can convert hindsight into foresight.'
Voice-activated high-speed wireless communications.
"I installed Skype, so it'll be just like you never went away to college."
Tags:teleconference, teleconferences, teleconferencing, video call, video calls, video calling, face-to-face, chat, chats, chatting, college, go away, goes away, going away, empty nest, empty nests, empty nester, empty nesters, computer, computers, computer program, computer programs, software, university, university, freshman, freshmen, first year, first years, student, students, college student
Musician playing the piano on a computer.
'I installed my spell check backwards and discovered the boss is an SOB.'
Dummys for Windows.
'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'
'How did you arrive at this price?' - 'Our computer has a new random generator.'
"This writing programme you sent me has got 'writers block'!"
Realistic terms of agreement options. . .
"We're letting you go Tom...I've found a piece of software that can suck up to me twice as effectively and at a fraction of your salary!"
Tags:redundancy, redundancies, lay off, lay offs, lay-off, lay-offs, downsizing, downsize, downsized, downsizes, salary, salaries, yes men, yes man, suck up, suck ups, sycophant, sycophants, sycophancy, fired, sacked, cost cutting, software, computer program, computer programs, ai, artificial intelligence
"This computer program is very intuitive. It automatically calls me when you do something stupid."
"Tell me the one about the battle between Functional and Object-Oriented programming."
Tags:object-orientated programming, object orientated programming, functional programming, oop, computer program, computer programs, computer programming, computer programmer, computer programmers, software design, software designer, software designers, bedtime story, bedtime stories, bedtime, bedtimes, father, fathers, fatherhood, geek, geeks, geeky, geekiness, nerd, nerds, nerdy, nerdiness
Tags:halloween, witch, witches, witchcraft, coven, covens, spellings, spell, spells, magic spell, magic spells, spellchecks, computer program, computer programs, spelling aid, spelling aids, computer software, school, spelling, spellcheck, spell-check, spell-checks, spelling error, spelling errors, spelling mistake, spelling mistakes
"How are you so good at reading CAPTCHAs?"
Miriam, the Anti-Muse: 'Isn't there a program that'll write a best seller for you? Then you'd have more time to clean out the basement...'
"This program shows which ATMs we can get to, the next program estimates how much money is in each of them, and the last tells us how large a crowbar Bronco will need to get the money out."
'I wish you would update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'
'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'
"Erwin's love for computer software is only matched by his love for nature."
"This program really isn't user friendly."
'We don't use that anymore. We've installed 8-Ball software into our computers.'